BIKES—Jump into your spandex, climb on your bikes, and race your heart out in the Monday Night PIR Bike Race Series. This flat, two-mile track is the perfect way to test your skills, and there are separate events for all skill levels—from novice, to “Holy crap, that person is burning rubber!” Don’t forget your helmet! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Portland International Raceway, 1940 N Victory, Mondays through Aug 31, register at racemondaynight.com, $15 entry fee, FREE to watch
FILM—For being the smartest guy in the Marvel universe, Tony Stark sure is stupid. Hey, genius! Maybe don’t build a megalomaniacal murder-bot? Maybe don’t rely on Hulk and Black Widow and Thor and Cap and Hawkeye to clean up your mess? UGH. Joss Whedon’s Avengers: Age of Ultron promises to be an astute, nuanced study of Tony Stark’s catastrophic idiocy. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Every theater ever on Earth, see Movie Times for a billion different showtimes
To be fair though, Hank Pym invented the murder-bot because he’s a really awful person. In fact, he is so awful they didn’t want to put him in the movie, so they pinned the blame on Tony.