SLOW & STEADY—In what is either a booking mistake, or my very own personal post-rock wet dream, Tortoise is taking the tiny stage at the Doug Fir. The Chicago quintet is as influential as they come, with a storied existence that has created—and mastered—entire genres, and they continue to forge new ground with each and every recording. Now if they’d just play Millions Now Living Will Never Die’s sprawling 21-minute opener “Djed,” I can die a happy man. EAC
w/Das Boton; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $18-20
TANTRUMS—Little parenting tip: The only thing kids need to stay alive is sugar and attention. This year’s Rose Festival Junior Parade festivities are sponsored by Juicy Juice, Nesquik, and Tillamook Cheese. So get ready for a bunch of squealing, farty, bedazzled youngsters careening around the Hollywood District. Crepe paper and rosy cheeks abound. JV
Hollywood District, NE 52nd & Sandy, 1 pm, FREE
Follow your (wet) dreams on over to My, What a Busy Week!
I work in Hollywood and am looking outside at some disgusting rain and wind, with tons of families huddled under broken umbrellas. It’s incredibly depressing.