The weather people tell us that after the clouds burn off it’s gonna be a sun-popping 80 degrees this Sunday—just in time for The Big Float! If you didn’t do it last year, rest assured it’s super fun, and one of those rare community events that really makes you feel good about what you’re doing. So get your costume (or just your swimming trunks) and your floaty—and get ready to float!

BUT IF YOU’RE SUPER SMART? Register online today (it’s only a measly $5 for Chrissake!) and pick up your wristband tonight instead of getting up early and waiting in that long line on Sunday! Here are the deets for tonight’s wristband pickup pre-func!

Big Float Wristband, T-shirt and Lifejacket Pickup Event – Friday July 27 6-9pm

Popina Swimwear will host a pick up party Friday July 27 from 6-9pm at 4831 NE 42nd Avenue in their back parking lot. If you are over age 21 enjoy a complementary Kona beer and meet some of your fellow Big Floaters! Register in advance or at Popina and get everything you need so you can just show up and float!

More deets about The Big Float here. I’ll see YOU on Sunday! (P.S. Don’t drown me.)

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

7 replies on “Pick Up Your Wristbands TONIGHT for the Big Float!”

  3. “Avoid swallowing river water while swimming.”

    Yeah, that sounds totally safe. That’s like saying “Avoid getting secondhand smoke in your lungs when socializing with people using tobacco products.”

    “Wash hands before eating and shower after swimming to wash off river water.”

    So swimming in the Willamette is like walking through poison oak. Sounds like a blast!

    “Avoid swimming in cloudy water”

    Which part of the Willamette in Portland isn’t cloudy?

    Enjoy your dip. Of course, we’re lucky enough to have access to clean, crystal clear swimming hole water within a half hour in every direction, but I guess swimming in a highly trafficked industrial waterway is necessary for some reason.

  5. I’ll just split the difference by swimming in mountain snow runoff filtered through volcanic rock. Or the Pacific ocean. Or any body of water that isn’t the most polluted in the region.

  6. Wow. Your willful ignorance is astonishing. Do you read anything? At all? It’s fine if you haven’t been closely following the major advances in regards to cleaning up the Willamette—we’re all busy people. But we’ve done everything we possibly can to provide that information, and seemingly, you’re still choosing to ignore it. And if you HAVE read all the scientific studies, and you’re choosing not to believe them, then why have you given up on the Willamette? If it’s as filthy as you wrongly believe, this is still YOUR river. It’s the river that gave birth to this town, and this town is the reason you’re here. And you’ve given up on everything except shit-talking it? I know you, Chuck. You’re the kind of guy who always says “If you don’t like the weather, leave.” Well, if you hate the Willamette so much—the one symbol that connects everyone in Portland, and should be our greatest source of pride—what are you still doing here?

  7. “Well, if you hate the Willamette so much—the one symbol that connects everyone in Portland, and should be our greatest source of pride—what are you still doing here?”

    How not thinking it’s a wise idea to swim in polluted water somehow equals hating a body of water is some kind of impressive false equivalency. I could just as easily argue that you hate the Willamette because you won’t drink a tall glass of it or go swimming after a good hearty Portland downpour. All water isn’t meant for humans to swim in, though I could see why a lot of people in this town believe the entire city was laid out with their comfort in mind. It’s interesting that you talk about Portland being here because of the Willamette, which is absolutely true. But it’s because it was used AS AN INDUSTRIAL WATERWAY.

    I’ve swam in the Willamette my entire life, and in the areas downriver of Smurfit where it gets REALLY bad, though at the time, we were assured the water was perfectly fine to swim in. Then they started finding all kinds of fish with deformities. Now, they advise against it. I’m sure the no such thing will happen again …

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