
- Thursday: Eating holes for feminism.
Two fantastic things are colliding in the same place at the same time this Thursday.
1) Bitch magazine, Portland’s own locally-made, nationally-read, super-smart feminist media outlet.
2) A donut eating contest.
At 7PM Thursday, Bitch is celebrating the release of their Fall issue “Consumed” at obesity epicenter VooDoo Doughnuts Two. Anyone who gets there early enough and has a hunger for winning can compete in the challenge to consume an cranium-sized Texass Donut in under 90 seconds.
I spoke with Bitch web editor Kelsey Wallace this weekend about donut-consumption strategy. I think, since I’m planning to enter the contest and I am also planning to win, it’s only fair to share the tips Wallace gave me off-the-cuff:
Do not start slowly.
Rip the donut into pieces.
If possible, dip the donut pieces in milk or water pre-mastication.
Stuff as much donut as you can into your mouth.
Focus on success.
There you have it!

“Eating holes for feminism” I liked Bitch before, but this really cements it for me. It’s great that we have an appropriately irreverent feminist magazine in Portland.
Ugh, Bitch is hardly irreverent or interesting anymore. Their latest issue was god awful with the analysis of a first year women’s studies major. And Jennifer Pozner has way too much influence. It makes me a sad panda. (Oh and see: LOL feminism. Really?!)