Fashion (of some form) has turned around and embraced that which is, in its very existence, fashion’s greatest affront (yes, even worse than UGGs): TEVAS.

The most disturbing thing about this is that at first glance (albeit after Steve prefaced it by saying that I would puke, and that it was “cruel to my entire worldview”) my first thought was “Oh, they’re not that bad.” I mean the (ironic! hilarious!) collaboration between Teva and Grey Ant uses a relatively neutral shape, and the black ones particularly at first look just like graphic patterned strappy sandals. Other than the fact that you’d be wearing a joke (a “conversation piece” to be generous), they’re… not as bad as they could be. Oh wait…

How ’bout now?

Now?

No.
Could be useful for B&D games while backpacking, which like chocolate and peanut butter might be two great tastes that go together.
This has given me an erection.
Those are criminally fug but number two’s gams could make anything look like foxfire.
Condemn.
KILL IT WITH FIRE.