All together now, everybody say EEEEEEWWWWWW! If there is one corner of the closet that could benefit from some serious genius it is the men’s summer footwear category. Unfortunately known as “Mandals“, the department is, at the very least, treacherous. Now, some more fashion forward men may be up to something like this:
Prada, just for the sake of discussion
Now personally, I hate it, but I can muster some grudging respect for it. But what of the common man? Most self-respecting men I know opt for the ubiquitous flip flop, which is the most obvious way of achieving comfort while saving face, but if you are going anywhere more formal than a barbecue, trading up for fancy, say, leather flip flops is treading dangerously close to murky mandal territory. Speaking of backyard summer fêtes, I attended one yesterday afternoon where this very issue came up in discussion between two dudes, by which I mean guys who deliberately avoid anything resembling “fashion,” pleading ignorance, etc: Flip flop-clad Greg was prodding Tom about his sneakers, and Tom was getting agitated over the fact that if there were “zombies” he wouldn’t be able to run in flip flops, which is a priority when choosing footwear, but that if there was one thing he did know about fashion it was that men should not wear mandals. The only thing I can think of that might get Tom out of this sartorial k-hole is one of those sneaker/sandal hybrids, the only tolerable ones of which have closed toes anyway, but which would at least allow for speedier mobility, if not exactly graduate to even so much as business casual: 
And god that is a hesitant recommendation.
So what the hell? With all the recycling and revisiting and re-doing of clothing and accessory design, why can’t someone design a decent mens sandal? There must be a way. Any clues? What do you wear? (If you say Tevas I will have you killed.)
Oh man, I totally agree that there needs to be more options. I have this pair of Diesel sandals that are like the only decent ones I’ve ever seen (except flip flops) and they’re probably 7 years old at this point!
If this is such a big problem, how come like every third dude in PDX is sporting sandles and socks? I think the unfasionable have just moved on and made it to a meta-level of fasionableness.
Can you explain why men’s sandals are so bad? Then, maybe, we’ll be able to focus on some features to eliminate, and others to emphasize. I mean, I see twelve guys all wearing mandals, khaki cargo shorts, and gray t-shirts, and I immediately know that it’s wrong and that they are ugly people with even uglier values. But I don’t always know why… is it the toes (or maybe open toe combined with buckles?)? not enough mesh when mesh is the new hot feature?
To answer your questions. I wear tennis shoes. But if I wear sandals, then I wear a pair of thongs. And I don’t really like them. I don’t know what to do or where to go.
mandals and flip flops are a VICE mag DONT
I agree, Marjorie — that’s why, this year, I decided to hunt for a wearable pair of……huraches! I hated all the huraches that I saw online, so I went on this determined huraches-hunt looking for the perfect pair. Note: I have ugly toes, with one big toenail completely missing (tennis accident 20+ years ago in my preteen years). So open-toed huraches were out of the question. Anyway, I searched up and down, all over So. Cal, Arizona (I’ve been on this hunt since Spring ’07) — guess where I finally found the perfect pair of huraches? Payless Shoes. I tell everyone that I got them from a shoe store boutique in Santa Fe — shhhh
Huaraches just scream “Hi, I’m Ian the guy with the ponytail who lives upstairs.”
Huaraches can also mean, “Hi, I’m Raul and I could give a fuck about your tastes or fashion because I’m poor, Mexican, and have a wife and child to feed”.
Huaraches don’t exactly scream, I have a wife… but anyway.
Pair of slip-on Vans is fine for summer. If that’s too hot then you’re a baby.
To maintain self respect you get two options for men’s sandals.
1: Rubber flip flop
2: Leather flip flop
Nothing fancy. No buckles, no tevas, no webbed toe holder, no chance a semi extreme sport might start up and you demanded the comfort of a sandal but wanted to be safe just in case as demonstrated by the second picture Ms. Skinner posted. Fucking ugh.
I witnessed my father buy that exact pair in the second photo at rei this weekend. what can I do? the dude is 56 and wants to wade through a river without stubbing his toes on rocks…
Vans made a decent pair of sandals once upon a time with just a single band across the top– sort of like a flip-flop without the toe divider– but they’re tough to find.