Project Runway Wrap Up

“What’s going on in here?”

That was my first thought last night when I arrived at the Tanker for its weekly screening of Project Runway. The place was packed… but with a different crowd than usually shows up to see Janeane Marie represent Portland with her cuttin’ and sewin’. They were punk-ish, but not in the way that the girl wearing the DIY “R.I.P. Alexander McQueen” shirt was punk. After at first concluding that it must be a Barfly bus, I soon found out that this band had just premiered their new music video on the bar’s screens (sadly it does not yet appear to be on YouTube, but it involves the women of Devil’s Point wearing furry costume heads and being very naughty, as is their custom).

But back to this week’s episode: That was close. For the first time, Janeane was singled out by the judges to explain her look—and not in a good way. There were tears. Bonus tears:

Two things: why are the contestants wearing the same exact thing in every episode’s video blog? Could Lifetime really not stand to make some attempt to conceal the fact that these were clearly recorded on the same day, after all the episodes were taped? Amateurs. Also, that icy blond woman with the pollution comment? That’s Joanna Coles, Editor-In-Chief of Marie Claire. She was so incredibly stiff and humorless that when she tried to say “hi” in a friendly voice it was like watching someone in physical therapy learning to walk again after a long paralyzation. I’m sure somewhere in there she still has a muscle memory of smiling. Hit the jump to see the dress she was giving Janeane a hard time for, as well as who I think is her hottest competition.

Okay so this challenge was to design the dress that Heidi Klum will wear on the cover of the April issue of Marie Claire (after she will have squeezed out that baby, although I think it would have been more interesting if they had to make it at maternity capacity). Klum, by the way, is cracking me up this season. She seems so happy about everything, even when she’s dumping some poor kid off the show. She just leaps out of her seat with a twinkle in her eye, like “oh yay, now’s the part where I air kiss and say ‘auf wiedersehen’ la la la.” Anyhow, this was another instance where aside from being appropriate for the spring season, the designers weren’t given much direction. So this is what Janeane came up with:

Yeah it’s a little bridesmaid-y Easter Sunday-ish, and I’m not feelin’ the bolero, but it’s not as bad as Anna’s was, so when it came to the two of them left standing on the runway it was only justice that Anna was the one to get the boot. She had been showing signs of weakness from the get-go. She’s super young and not very technically proficient compared to the other contestants, and also, just… blech. pin striped shorts with silver vest? Maybe on the cover of Teen Bop in 1983 (which, granted, would have been prior to her birth). Michael Kors was the only one who halfway came to her defense when, with adorable glee he gushed, “But she did separates!”

Anthony took the win this time, with a dress that I like okay, but that also looks like exactly the kind of thing you see on the cover of a grocery store fashion mag and never anywhere else. But that general sense is appropriate for the challenge, so there you go.

But I think the one to beat is Ben. He’s been quietly kicking ass, and I find myself favoring his designs. He got called out for props, but I think he should have won this week:

That’s just so much more original than Anthony’s, and more modern, less confectionary. And that color combination? Who knew? Stay tuned for next week’s episode and wrap-up, and cross your fingers that there will be no more tears.