As a haver of lady bits, I’ll start by telling you that the idea of fucking in a hot tub is garbage.
Sure, it seems like it’s all warm and wet and partially clothed—but underwater P-in-V sex is an unlubricated nightmare and open season for a yeast infection, while oral sex requires a snorkel or precarious perching.
THAT BEING SAID, hot tubs are still sexy as hell. This is because 1) I have too many movie scenes stored in my spank bank to give up on aquatic banging, 2) you are warm, wet, and hopefully naked, and 3) fingering and wet humping—that’s dry humping in a hot tub—are still pretty cool.
So, in these final coldest weeks of winter and in this month dedicated to love, I undertook an investigation of soaking pools and hot tubs in Portland to rank which ones are the hottest.