SUMMER IS RIGHT AROUND the freaking corner, people! ARE YOU PREPARED? If not, thank the sun god for the Mercury, which is continuing last week’s wildly informative How to Do Summer Guide with part two: “Food and Boozin’.” There are certain summer gustatory activities you just need to know how to do: how to throw a global-themed backyard party, for example. Or how to bury (and cook) an entire pig! How to use SCIENCE to obtain the coldest beer possible! Or how to drink all damn day long! These—and many more examples within—are things you absolutely need to know, or you may just as well say, “fuck it” and cryogenically freeze yourself until winter comes. So enjoy part two of our How to Do Summer Guide, and for the second time, YOU’RE WELCOME.
More How to Do Summer Articles:
How to Throw a Global Backyard Party
How to Have Super-Cold Beer, Super Fast
How to Take an Ice Cream Road Trip
No, Steven, bad Steven! You do not tell people to burn a witch in effigy as a party game. Millions of people were slaughtered by Christian invaders and that is neither fun or funny. Retract and apologizes or I will curse that rag (by contacting your feminist advertisers)—-
or maybe you simply misspoke.