THE TEXTURE OF FALLING Texting has never been so idyllic.

At the risk of making it sound more interesting than it is, The Texture of Falling is a lurid, Portland-set meta-drama about a timid filmmaker named Louisa (Julie Webb) who starts dating a dull married pianist, Luke (Patrick D. Green), while trying to make a movie based on her dull life, for which she resorts to stripping, dully (at Mary’s!), to raise funds. Meanwhile, also in Portland but possibly in a separate movie, an architect named Michael (Benjamin Farmer) begins a Dom/sub relationship with artist Sylvia (Maria Allred, Texture of Falling’s writer/director).

How are these people connected? What’s real and what’s fantasy? But again, I run the risk of giving the impression that The Texture of Falling is compelling, which it is not. It’s 74 minutes of mediocre actors giving meek, low-energy performances while reciting clumsily written, faux-philosophical dialogue. (On what they’re addicted to, Louisa says, “Mostly sensation. I’m not even sure what that means, really.” Luke’s answer: “I think primarily I’m addicted to fascination.” WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?) Allred has the basic technical skills to make a film, and there are workable ideas buried in here, but the writing and acting make it a muddled, insufferable wreck.