Thursday, Sept 11 8:00 WB STEVE HARVEY'S BIG TIME Debut! Comedian Steve Harvey attempts to resurrect The Ed Sullivan Show with this variety-style train wreck.

9:30 FOX THE MULLETS Debut! Two brothers adjust to their new right-wing dad. But here's the funny part! They all have mullets! HAW!!

Friday, Sept 12 9:30 WB ALL ABOUT THE ANDERSONS Debut! A struggling actor moves in with his persnickety parents. Starring Anthony Anderson (the black comedian, not fat honky game show host Louie Anderson).

10:00 MTV SPIDER-MAN In the second episode of this two-parter, Spidey realizes he's been brainwashed and opens up a can of web-slinging whoop-ass.

Saturday, Sept 13 8:00 SPIKE MOST EXTREME ELIMINATION If you like Japanese game shows where the voices are hilariously dubbed and people fall down REALLY HARD, don't miss Most Extreme!

9:30 COM RENO 911! It's "humiliation central" when Clemmy's b-friend proposes to her--at the station house!

Sunday, Sept 14 8:00 WB PEPSI PLAY FOR A BILLION If Pepsi trusts a monkey to give away a billion dollars, doesn't it make you wonder who's running their company?

9:30 NBC LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN 10th ANNIVERSARY Celebrate 10 years with TV's funniest and least appreciated late-night host.

Monday, Sept 15 10:00 DSC AMERICAN CHOPPER A father and son mechanic team threatens to rip each other's throats out while working on a souped-up motorcycle. It's like Dynasty meets This Old House.

Tuesday, Sept 16 9:00 FOX THE O.C. Ryan, Marissa, Seth and Summer travel to Tijuana, MexicoÉ where Seth gets into some trouble with an amorous donkey.

9:00 SPIKE THE JOE SCHMO SHOW Where real (but not very talented) actors try to convince a normal guy he's on a reality TV show.

Wednesday, Sept 17 8:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY How Paula Abdul went from Laker girl, to international pop star, toÉ ummmÉ whatever she is now.

9:00 HBO CARNIVALE Cross Twin Peaks with Cirque Du Soleil, and you've got this weirdo new drama about circus life.