Name one thing in that article that isn't true. The fact is, 90% of the people reading this (not me, he he) can look in the mirror and will see exactly what he is describing.
And for those of you keeping score, Stumptown is now officially a national chain.
I'm not surprised that many NYers are getting tired of hearing about Portland. I would be too.
Stumptown is really good coffee. Just enjoy it and shut up.
"Most of Portland is filled with people wearing cowboy hats and listening to Toby Keith?" Uh, sure.
Getting sick of the "not diverse" crap. This is the farthest reaches of the West. Unfortunately, we killed the indians, and the latinos started arriving in force only ten years ago.
I think that diversity is nice, and it will develop over time. But when people hark on our lack of it, they frankly strike me as ignorant of what this place is. You moved to/are visiting freaking OREGON people. What did you expect?
Blabby, and important thing to realize about that article...
It was written by a Portlander. Maybe they're not nativist enough for your tastes, they've only been here for four years. But a Portlander none the less.
Also, the the author goes off on some really really stupid anti-consumerist rant and then lays the bomb-shell of the whole thing...
He doesn't like the Stumptown Hairbender blend. Whoop-de-fucking-doo! Hairbender is mediocre.
And the stupid fucking venue for this vapid article? Reading their "about us" paragraph finds this wonderful gem, "With an average age of 39.7 and average income of $130,000, the New York Press captures an intelligent, well-read audience that works hard and has the disposable income to enjoy the city and all it has to offer. "
To steal from BSNYC, this whole thing reeks of meh-pic fail.
Wowza. Remember when customers want a consistent experience? Why does anyone recommend a restaurant to their friends? Any worthwhile coffee shop or restaurant would pride themselves on having a consistent product. Consistency doesn't make a shop into a Starbuck's-esque empire. Neither does having roasteries in several cities. Has anyone ever heard of Batdorf and Bronson? Or Intelligentsia? Just because Stumptown has a successful business model does not mean they are evil. Pick on someone who is harming the world, not someone providing a few of its cities with some of the best coffees in the world.
I live out by SE 122nd and Burnside, and nobody's driving around in jacked up trucks with Toby Fuckin Keith blaring from speakers taped to the gun-racks.
Nobody.
I don't know how he can say "most" of Portland looks like the Marlboro Man. Because that particular stereotype is decidedly the minority in the Portland I drive through on my way to and from my job downtown. What he describes exists almost solely at the aforementioned Duke's on 148th and sometimes the Dixie. That's pretty much it.
And no one's drinking Stumptown because they believe they're drinking the essence of jeggings and iron and wine and poorly grown in neckbeards. They're drinking Stumptown because they think it tastes good.
You're New York. If a bunch of confused, insecure burgeoning coke-heads in scarves and sweaters from Bigfoot-land are dictating your cultural direction, (more like re-feeding your decade old hipster culture back to you) and are using specialty COFFEE as their primary weapon, you deserve to have your status jacked from you. Because your shit is weak.
Even the NY Times article about "Frugal Portland" made the point that Stumpton's coffee is bitter, something I discovered both times I've been there. Sorry smug defensive Portlanders, Stumptown just doesn't make good coffee.
Stumptown is way too bitter for my taste. I wish they wouldn't roast their shit so hot.
Regarding city rivalry and homogenization, do people care about this? I mean really. Ever woke up in middle the night during a stress dream and thought "oh God, there are a lot of white people in Portland"???!!!
"re-feeding your decade old hipster culture back to you" INDEED!
far too many hipsters either spent their formative years here and feel they're too cool for Portland (moving to Brooklyn!) or they already found NYC too challenging (just moved here from Brooklyn!) or full up of dumbshit tightpants fixxers. "I bet my look ain't played out on the West Coast yet!" (kidding).
There's this perception that Portland is the Big Easy, the safe retreat where the winter won't kill you, the bike lanes will protect you, and there's always someone to flirt with.
It's the temptation-du-jour for young slackers tired of wherever they're at. You'd think hipsters ran this town! One big summer camp retreat for the grass-is-greener social climbers.
Sasquatch is every other weekend and your friends in SF are, like, a half hour's drive away. The rain makes you sad...until you embrace the sadness and it makes your songs / stencils / bike framebuilding really DEEP. Portland, where there's no choice but to GET REAL! Like I said-- hipster summer camp. A cabin in the woods where you become the next Bon Iver.
He clearly doesnt know Portland because he didnt mention anything about the fixies. Fucking things are everywhere. I had to pry one out of the huge wheels of my hummer just this morning.
Its true fellows, New York is "the city that chews up the phonies and spits βem out!" Run by chief Holden Caulfield and staffed exclusively by Dead End Kids, The Bureau of No Phonies (BNP) toils day and night to ensure The City That Never Sleeps has an adequate supply of moxie, salt and guff at all times.
Of course, now that I finish typing that, I do see a man with a cowboy hat and red kerchief moseying through the library.
Some of the stuff is valid enough - but not only does the country music and cowboy had crap not happen in the vast majority of Portland, but it's not even that prevalent in western Oregon at all. It is there, but eastern and southern Oregon constitutes cowboy country. I grew up in Newport, and even there the country music and cowboy hats were reserved for people from the hills more than anything else.
*wipes tear from eye* I love you all so much. Most hilarious comment thread I've read in awhile... If I weren't married already I'd want to wed each and every one of you. Carry on, pardners.
I love the Escalade dude singing the country tunes. Yes. Not all of us are indie bastards.
And there's nothing ironic about my cowboy hat. Keeps my neck from getting burned while I'm out walking along singing whatever the hell I feel like.
I dont mind the New Yorkers, as long as they assimilate quickly- usually a big bag o' homegrown green does the trick.
What I *do* mind are all of you hipster FUCKS who walk around with a scowl and a frown like the world owes you something more. WTF?!? You are in Oregon. It's summer! It would do you good to smile.
Or go do something dramatic like hang yourself from the Steel Bridge. Get your misery off our streets and entertain the rest of us.
Give the kid a break. He just got out of the four-year solipsistic hipster beat-down that is Reed. Most Reedards manage to shake the soul-crushing taint after a year or so.
Say what you will about Stumptown itself--and more often than not I feel like it's a little bitter, but whatever--the fact remains that you can get absolutely NOTHING in NYC aside from Starbucks. I mean, there's a reason that people on the East Coast perpetuate this myth that Dunkin' Donuts actually makes good coffee--they have no idea what good coffee tastes like! I routinely bring Stumptown to friends/family in NYC when I visit, and they flip their wigs over how good it is compared to the stuff you can find there.
OMG, the windows-down escalade guy is, like, a THING? That people KNOW ABOUT? I thought I had accidentally slipped into a vortex that sent me to Gresham when I rode past him once on 12th and Division.
Dave J is correct. I just got back from a trip to NY (I sold my Escalade to pay for my expenses) and their coffee situation is a mess. Even if you think Stumptown is a big 'ole cup of bitter swill, it's still better than 99% of the coffee you can get in that city. Even "The Angry American" (Toby Keith) would agree with me on that one.
But NY is still winning in the Knishes department. Damn you, Portland.
Holy fuck, Portland. This whole "get trolled by out of towners"--->"react like the over-earnest twats they think we are" thing is really awful, and happens way to often. Shall we stop?
People are certainly welcome to their stupid fucking opinions -be yourself, friends!- but it truly sucks to have one's city repeatedly insulted by waterheads and fuckrags who aren't familiar enough with the territory to criticize it WELL.
It's turning into a cottage industry, and it sucks. Portland: it ain't the greatest in the world, and we're well aware of that. By the same token, it's not really that bad. And above all else, the things people generally choose to complain about regarding this place are so fucking petty that frankly they are the ones who end up looking like pussies.
Hey; somebody call me 'nativist' and throw in some non sequitur about some band I don't listen to. Thanks.
Get a ride-along interview with windows-down escalade guy. NOW.
YES!! I've only seen him twice, the first time was right here by the office. It WAS like seeing a rainbow, an awkward moment though as I was stopped at a light and couldn't believe what I was seeing. Wow. I feel like I just joined a support group. I knew I wasn't alone!
Epstein re-confirms the well-worn theory that plenty of, um,"Portlanders" can seem to live here for 4 years or so and never leave the bubble, let alone pull their head out of their ass, long enough to attain anything more than a glancing understanding of this place.
The "wuss rock" reference was telling in this regard.
While many of us are blaring shit like Poison Idea and The Wipers out of our trucks or speakered bike trailers shitheads like Epstein are busy shoe gazing and navel picking their way through thinking that they've got this place figured out because they're dialed into whatever generic elevator music they listen to in Brooklyn.
@Mikey Golightly:
The Steel Bridge reference was a gem!
What, are we in a god damned zoo or something? It seems like I can't go a week without hearing about some Portland themed article in the NY Times or the NY Press or the NY Post or the NY Gazette or some crappy little zine that comes out of a Kinko's in Red Hook... What is WRONG with these people? Is there really nothing at all going on in New York City worth writing about? Is there no end to the articles the press over there will write about us? Are New Yorkers really so overcome with ennui that they're reduced to devouring endless copy about a city 3,000 miles away where there happen to be some white people who like to ride bikes and drink coffee and hang out in strip clubs? I mean Jesus, it's not like we're curing cancer or something... Portland good, Portland bad, whatever, just shut the fuck up already! Move on to like, Tucson, or somewhere, would ya? Yeesh!
What, are we in a god damned zoo or something? It seems like I can't go a week without hearing about some Portland themed article in the NY Times or the NY Press or the NY Post or the NY Gazette or some crappy little zine that comes out of a Kinko's in Red Hook... What is WRONG with these people? Is there really nothing at all going on in New York City worth writing about? Is there no end to the articles the press over there will write about us? Are New Yorkers really so overcome with ennui that they're reduced to devouring endless copy about a city 3,000 miles away where there happen to be some white people who like to ride bikes and drink coffee and hang out in strip clubs? I mean Jesus, it's not like we're curing cancer or something... Portland good, Portland bad, whatever, just shut the fuck up already! Move on to like, Tucson, or somewhere, would ya? Yeesh!
The last time I was hanging out with Ethan, we were drinking Stumptown coffee and he was bitching about it the whole time, so I asked, "Why don't we go get something else?" and he said, "No fucking way! I love this swill!" and I said, "But you don't even like coffee..." then an SUV drove by blaring Toby Keith, and Ethan said, "I have that song on my IPOD," and I said, "So you don't just make me listen to that crap at Jumbo's and when you drag me out to kareoke at a chinese restaraunt?" and he said, "No fucking way! I love that crap!"
Now you know why Ethan describes portland the way he does...
I swear I've tried taking him to good bars...
Oh, and don't get him started about the 82nd bus line..
haha my grandfather is always driving around portland with his windows down in his escalade singing custom music in portland they call him the singing cadi.
MY GRANDSON SHOWED ME THIS SIGHT I AM THE SINGING CADI OF PORTLAND THANKS FOR THE LAUGHFS AS I DRIVE AROUND TOWN FROM JOB TO JOB. AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO THE OLD LADY THAT THREW THE 5 DOLLAR BILL THROUGH MY WINDOW MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH I COULD NOT SING.
And for those of you keeping score, Stumptown is now officially a national chain.
I'm not surprised that many NYers are getting tired of hearing about Portland. I would be too.
Stumptown is really good coffee. Just enjoy it and shut up.
"Most of Portland is filled with people wearing cowboy hats and listening to Toby Keith?" Uh, sure.
Getting sick of the "not diverse" crap. This is the farthest reaches of the West. Unfortunately, we killed the indians, and the latinos started arriving in force only ten years ago.
I think that diversity is nice, and it will develop over time. But when people hark on our lack of it, they frankly strike me as ignorant of what this place is. You moved to/are visiting freaking OREGON people. What did you expect?
Although maybe I'm romanticizing Portland a bit before my imminent arrival back to the motherland.
It was written by a Portlander. Maybe they're not nativist enough for your tastes, they've only been here for four years. But a Portlander none the less.
Also, the the author goes off on some really really stupid anti-consumerist rant and then lays the bomb-shell of the whole thing...
He doesn't like the Stumptown Hairbender blend. Whoop-de-fucking-doo! Hairbender is mediocre.
And the stupid fucking venue for this vapid article? Reading their "about us" paragraph finds this wonderful gem, "With an average age of 39.7 and average income of $130,000, the New York Press captures an intelligent, well-read audience that works hard and has the disposable income to enjoy the city and all it has to offer. "
To steal from BSNYC, this whole thing reeks of meh-pic fail.
meh-pic
haa
ayhsmb
Nobody.
I don't know how he can say "most" of Portland looks like the Marlboro Man. Because that particular stereotype is decidedly the minority in the Portland I drive through on my way to and from my job downtown. What he describes exists almost solely at the aforementioned Duke's on 148th and sometimes the Dixie. That's pretty much it.
And no one's drinking Stumptown because they believe they're drinking the essence of jeggings and iron and wine and poorly grown in neckbeards. They're drinking Stumptown because they think it tastes good.
You're New York. If a bunch of confused, insecure burgeoning coke-heads in scarves and sweaters from Bigfoot-land are dictating your cultural direction, (more like re-feeding your decade old hipster culture back to you) and are using specialty COFFEE as their primary weapon, you deserve to have your status jacked from you. Because your shit is weak.
Regarding city rivalry and homogenization, do people care about this? I mean really. Ever woke up in middle the night during a stress dream and thought "oh God, there are a lot of white people in Portland"???!!!
That's my favorite line LOL.
And hey NYT - head over to Willamsburg and whine.
far too many hipsters either spent their formative years here and feel they're too cool for Portland (moving to Brooklyn!) or they already found NYC too challenging (just moved here from Brooklyn!) or full up of dumbshit tightpants fixxers. "I bet my look ain't played out on the West Coast yet!" (kidding).
There's this perception that Portland is the Big Easy, the safe retreat where the winter won't kill you, the bike lanes will protect you, and there's always someone to flirt with.
It's the temptation-du-jour for young slackers tired of wherever they're at. You'd think hipsters ran this town! One big summer camp retreat for the grass-is-greener social climbers.
Sasquatch is every other weekend and your friends in SF are, like, a half hour's drive away. The rain makes you sad...until you embrace the sadness and it makes your songs / stencils / bike framebuilding really DEEP. Portland, where there's no choice but to GET REAL! Like I said-- hipster summer camp. A cabin in the woods where you become the next Bon Iver.
HAS ANYONE HEARD THE GUY IN THE WINDOWS-DOWN ESCALADE SINGING COUNTRY TUNES.
the writer must have seen that guy.
Of course, now that I finish typing that, I do see a man with a cowboy hat and red kerchief moseying through the library.
And there's nothing ironic about my cowboy hat. Keeps my neck from getting burned while I'm out walking along singing whatever the hell I feel like.
I dont mind the New Yorkers, as long as they assimilate quickly- usually a big bag o' homegrown green does the trick.
What I *do* mind are all of you hipster FUCKS who walk around with a scowl and a frown like the world owes you something more. WTF?!? You are in Oregon. It's summer! It would do you good to smile.
Or go do something dramatic like hang yourself from the Steel Bridge. Get your misery off our streets and entertain the rest of us.
i heard you can hire the puppet guy for parties.
puppet guy + escalade guy + rob walmart + pdxfixed = party time
i wear black on the outside cause black is how i feel on the inside?
my school colors were black and light black?
I saw Bon Iver once. If I had a choice of seeing them again, or having my eyeballs pecked out by rabid pigeons, I'd have to think on it for a while.
get a ride-along interview with windows-down escalade guy. NOW.
But NY is still winning in the Knishes department. Damn you, Portland.
Never heard a better description. No balls in this town.
If you find them, please email me, I haven't dated in a while because the men here are eunuchs. I have bigger balls, and I don't even have any.
That said, I really enjoy Stumptown coffee. And I've never seen anyone wearing a cowboy hat in this town, ironic or no.
I'm from Colorado; this ain't the West, this is the West coast. Big difference.
And yes, Escalade dude is the bestest.
It's turning into a cottage industry, and it sucks. Portland: it ain't the greatest in the world, and we're well aware of that. By the same token, it's not really that bad. And above all else, the things people generally choose to complain about regarding this place are so fucking petty that frankly they are the ones who end up looking like pussies.
Hey; somebody call me 'nativist' and throw in some non sequitur about some band I don't listen to. Thanks.
YES!! I've only seen him twice, the first time was right here by the office. It WAS like seeing a rainbow, an awkward moment though as I was stopped at a light and couldn't believe what I was seeing. Wow. I feel like I just joined a support group. I knew I wasn't alone!
Oh, and I love Stumptown.
The "wuss rock" reference was telling in this regard.
While many of us are blaring shit like Poison Idea and The Wipers out of our trucks or speakered bike trailers shitheads like Epstein are busy shoe gazing and navel picking their way through thinking that they've got this place figured out because they're dialed into whatever generic elevator music they listen to in Brooklyn.
@Mikey Golightly:
The Steel Bridge reference was a gem!
Now you know why Ethan describes portland the way he does...
I swear I've tried taking him to good bars...
Oh, and don't get him started about the 82nd bus line..