Ill wake up... all I need are these Mercury stories and my morning pile of cocaine.
"I'll wake up... all I need are these Mercury stories and my morning pile of cocaine." gollykim / iStock / Getty Images Plus

GOOD MORNING, SUNDAY! It's the perfect time to catch up on some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! (PRO TIP: If you despise being "the last to know," then be one of the first to know by signing up for Mercury newsletters! All the latest stories shipped directly to your email's in-box... and then... YOUR HEAD.)

Accused Normandale Park Shooter Jailed on Nine Charges
The man accused of killing one and injuring four others near Portland's Normandale Park last month has been jailed for his alleged crimes... a full month following the shootings.

Mathieu Lewis-Rolland

Ja’Das Soulful Eatz Bumps the Soul Food Power of One of Portland’s Historically Black Neighborhoods
Family is at the heart of Ja'Das Soulful Eatz. The name is an acronym of the first initial of each member of Jamie Turner's immediate family, a subtle nod to the restaurant’s beginnings. Janey Wong has the scoop on the hotly anticipated reopening.

Janey Wong

THE TRASH REPORT: Gossip, News, and More!
It's the latest edition of Elinor Jones' gossip column, THE TRASH REPORT! This week: Republican baby-nappers, manufactured elk drama, and which horny mature whale are YOU? 🤔


Portland’s Russian Markets Rush to Support Ukraine While Fighting to Stay Afloat
We wondered how Portland's Russian restaurants and markets were faring with the inevitable cost added to their imported products. It turned out they were more focused on aiding Ukraine.

Courtesy Kachka

• Pop Quiz PDX
Thinking caps ON, trivia fans! It's another sassy-ass edition of POP QUIZ, PDX! This week you'll solve the mysteries of WHAT'S in that stolen U-Haul, WHY is Dame sitting out, and WHO is the worst Republican of 'em all! (So many choices!) 🤔

Pool / Getty Images

Savage Love: Quickies
It's another "quickies" edition of SAVAGE LOVE, featuring lots of lickity-split advice concerning pubic hair, pee concerns, how to dump that f-boy, and more!
Joe Newton

How Did This Lexus Get in a Portland Bioswale and Other Questions I Have
For example, who do you call to get a full sedan out of a bioswale? And how bad is this for the bioswale?

Suzette Smith

• Astral PDX's Han Oak Pop-up Is a "Fucked-up Good" Exploration of Mexican Cuisine
It's rare we can recommend pop-ups—they're so fleeting—but Astral PDX's John Boisse and Lauren Breneman will host Mondays and Tuesdays in Han Oak's kitchen through April 12.
Kari Young

WOW, THAT IS A LOT OF GOOD READIN'. I hope you didn't have any other plans this weekend! Dig in, and remember: Producing all this hard work costs moolah—so please consider contributing to the Mercury to keep it all coming! Thanks!