- The future of soda? No thanks.
Coca-Cola has begun distributing a new soda fountain machine called the Coca-Cola Freestyle. The machine features over 100 different flavors of soda and promises to provide “the ultimate soda experience.”
- Comes in three rad colors.
I know what you are thinking: “100 choices? That doesn’t seem like much at all!” Lucky for you the fun doesn’t end at 100. The machine features “microdosing technology” which allows you to mix and match as many flavors as you want in order to create a super-beverage even more unpalatable than the sum of its parts. Diet-orange-coke-grape-fanta-regular-vanilla-coke-sprite-zero on the rocks? Coming right up!
The Freestyle’s Facebook page claims the machine “turns ordinary users into expert mixologists.” If by “ordinary users” they mean “fat people with bad taste” and by “expert mixologists” they mean “fatter people with worse taste” then yeah, I guess the machine does do that. If you are into that sort of thing, look for the Coke Freestyle at a fast food restaurant near you sometime soon. Via NYDailyNews.
Here is a video of some “soda nerd” getting overly excited about the machine:
This sounds like the best thing since those ATM’s that give you five dollar bills if you ask for them.
People still drink that shit?
If it was socially acceptable to stick my mouth directly underneath that machine I would. Like a baby suckling on an ooh so sweet nipple of nourishment and sustenance.
Seriously Merc, stop with the “fat-bashing.” You’re better than that. In your eyes it may not be the same as ridiculing gays, minorities, the mentally ill or homeless … but it comes across as guided by the same bullshit small-minded bigotry. Get off the playground, grow up & give it a rest.
@Nyoro. I appreciate your concern, but I think you missed the point of my post. My post wasn’t ridiculing fat people. It was ridiculing people who make extremely poor dietary choices, like choosing to drink any of the terrible-for-you sodas from that machine or, even worse, concocting some awful abomination of a soda.
Some people who are overweight can’t help it, and despite their best efforts to make healthy eating choices they remain overweight. My post is in no way ridiculing those people. On the other hand, some overweight people continue to make horrible dietary choices and would probably love the idea of the Coke Freestyle. Those are the type of people I am ridiculing, and I stand by that criticism.
You’re right, of course, about the unhealthy contents of the soda. You’re wrong if you think anyone enjoys your preachiness.
@Will Radik. I wasn’t trying to preach, I was just defending my post as something other than simply “fat-bashing.” But yeah, I guess my response was a little too long and preachy. Point taken.
So you think sodas are unhealthy? Really, is it necessary to degrade sodas? Water is so tasteless, we have to have something sticky sweet and nasty to drink. Liked the blog anyway
I’m not fat and i fucking love soda. Especially coke. I’m so stoked about finding one of these machines! Fucking yum!
Stop being so uptight and live a little!