UGH. Look at this food. They’re totally having sex. Now in my job, I’m forced to accept a lot of abhorrent behavior—Sarah Mirk sucking the marrow from what I’m pretty sure was the femur of a dog; Ezra Caraeff incessantly moaning while stroking a rabbit’s pelt—but this? THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH.

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This is just the sort of thing food editor Patrick Coleman and art director Scrappers get off on. In fact, I caught them both just yesterday, watching this GIF and furiously masturbating into a Cup Noodles. OH! And I apologize for not posting this after the jump—but the GIF that’s actually after the jump is so fucking disgusting there wasn’t enough room on the internet to hold its disgustingness. Click ahead… if you dare. And if you’re a true masochist, read this week’s Mercury Food & Sex issue.

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GAHH!! LOOK AT THAT WET SPOT!!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

3 replies on “Food Having Sex: BLECHHH!”

  2. Damn! I’m not illiterate, just lazy: Reverse Cowgirl!
    (the merc should really have an edit feature, so that i can coorect my poor spelling after I’ve posted it.)

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