THE SLIDE INN was formerly the longstanding Italian restaurant Il Piatto. It is in the same location, it has the same owners, and despite reopening four months ago with a new theme and new look, it is the same restaurant. It has the same service flaws, the same scattered leadership, and the same confused food.

The restaurant can’t decide if it wants to be a nostalgically hip German lodge or a noncommittal “modern American” pan-dietary catchall. Curried tofu-carrot brown rice “sausage” exists alongside spaetzle and stroganoff; vegan spring rolls leave the kitchen on the same tray as wiener schnitzel. About half of the main courses are pastas from the old menu, a worrisome detail.

At the center of this discord is the husband-and-wife team who ran Il Piatto for 17 years. The wife eats gluten-free and vegan; the husband is a lifelong chef who trained in Europe for a decade. What slowly emerges is that these are two different and apparently incompatible restaurant visions: It is quite literally too many cooks in the kitchen. Instead of a coherent fusion of the two (tricky, I admit), it is both parties getting their way, while at the same time being unable to let go of the old restaurant.

If the food were great, a funky, family-run joint with an eclectic variety of specialties, it could make for a unique neighborhood entity. Sadly, the chef would rather spend hours online defending the many years he spent cooking just this kind of food, thank you very much, rather than taking an objective look at it and conceding that it is sorely in need of updating. Let us examine the microcosm of details that is the spaghetti carbonara ($17) in order to support that point.

The definitive aspect of spaghetti carbonara is the sauce, which is created with raw egg yolk, parmesan, and a little starchy pasta water. The hot pasta gently cooks the egg mixture, resulting in a silken sauce to which small morsels of pancetta cling. Yes, raw egg is terrifying stuff. Yes, there are regional variations in all recipes. But not even in Graham Kerr’s most liquorsome moment did he serve his guests spaghetti swimming in a bowl of molten cream, as they do here. The dish has the dated heaviness of a bygone era when generosity with this saucier’s crutch was a sign of luxury, but that era ended decades ago. Add to this a house-made pancetta that tastes old and is cut too large, and the result is a very expensive, very unpleasant meal that quickly congeals into a gluey mass.

Other items in need of reworking are the two sole mains that represent the new Eastern European direction: the pork wiener schnitzel ($20) and the stroganoff ($20). Schnitzel should be a large, breaded, golden escalope whose surface shows dynamic texture from its time in hot oil. This looked and ate like two small, uniform pan-fried tilapia fillets, and was plated antiseptically with a scoop of horseradish mashed potatoes and green beans. While flavor in a stroganoff is developed by browning and then braising the beef, this version tasted only braised, with monotonous and mushy texture. The meat, chopped pickle, and sauce were then mixed with oversized spaetzle, plated without garnish, and sent to the table looking and tasting like monochromatic cafeteria food.

It is painful to write this because I believe that the owners have the best intentions. It shows in the time they take to chat with guests, the excellent produce they grow themselves, the effort they expend to cure their own meats and bake their own breads. Their hamburger ($12) is truly good: It’s a thick, charred, hand-formed patty enrobed in melted swiss cheese, served with horseradish aioli and good house-made bacon, on a dense but tender bun that stands up to the juicy contents. Their house-made Hungarian pork sausage ($8) shows promise—it is richly spiced, and with an easily adjusted cooking technique (I sense there is steam or par-boiling before grilling, which toughens the casing), it will be a perfect companion to the homemade sauerkraut and red cabbage. During one visit, they had even made a plum cake with an abundance of fruit a neighbor had brought in.

I would love to see the Slide Inn take on a consultant to help shake it free from the haunting vestiges of Il Piatto, focus the menu, and solve the fundamental service issues (seat people with menus, don’t allow front-of-house to wear soiled jeans, don’t offer my child “milk from the bar next door” when I ask if there’s anything she can drink, und so weiter). It’s a handsome place in a brilliant location, but it needs a far more serious effort at a fresh start.

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A variety of draft German beer and happy hour specials make this a serviceable location for an after-work pint.

The Slide Inn

2348 SE Ankeny 236-4997 slideinnpdx.com

20 replies on “Ghosts in the Kitchen”

  1. Why does it matter where the milk comes from…Were you afraid that vodka from the bar would contaminate it on the way to your table?
    Also, I don’t understand why multiple food cuisines and dietary options are being critiqued here..the broad menu is my favorite thing about the place to be honest

  2. My problems with the place date back to when I lived a couple blocks away, and could never catch a fucking break with the staff. If it wasn’t your average rank and file server being unable to do the basics of their jobs, it was that woman who owned it saying, “seat them in the alley,” loud enough that I could hear it. Lady this is Portland: sometimes people go straight from a hike to a fine dining experience, and should reasonably expect to not get shit on for it.

    Add on inconsistent (to put it very politely) quality of food, and you have a place no one should bother patronizing, because come the fuck on.

  3. Ate here recently and found it to be okay, but noticed some of the oddities mentioned in this article. A strange little place that seems like it should give you something much better than what it delivers.

  4. Slide inn is one of my favorite new restaurants in Portland. I had gone to il piatto several times in the past, and, regrettably didn’t like it a whole lot. When the restaurant took a new direction I gave it another shot. I AM SO GLAD I DID. I don’t know why Chris failed to see the restaurant in a new light, but going in as an unbiased customer I very much enjoyed everything my table ordered. The restaurant looks entirely different too, in a cute and kitschy 70’s way. I have gone back a few times since they opened, so I am pretty shocked to see such a negative response. I love the slide inn and have seen vast improvements in service, variety, and health conscious options

  5. Hmmm…. interesting. Judging from the way it’s marketed itself (i.e., “Like” us on FB and get a $5-off coupon), I thought the Slide Inn was more of a bar with good food (see: gastropub) than a full-on restaurant. I was eager to try out the German beers and Alpine bar snacks. I’m blown away that this place would be charging $20 for entrées given there are picnic tables out front. Sadly, it now makes sense knowing the owners are the same as Il Piatto. I always wanted to like that place so much but could never justify spending that amount of money on what was much less interesting food than say, Grüner or Fratelli. I really hope they can re-image themselves and stick around. Thanks for the thoughtful review.

  6. If I paid $20(!) for stroganoff and was served that plate, I’d be upset too.

    For more moderately priced German fare (with many GF and vegan options as well) seek out the Berlin Inn. Makes for a nice dinner before a show at the Aladdin.

  7. Cream in a carbonara is a deal-breaker for me. Not just for the dish, but for the restaurant that dared serve it that way. Thank you Chris for making this point.

  10. um can someone give “Rich Bachelor” a xanax or something? Talk about holding a grudge…

    In response to this, yes we’re all fully aware this is portland and people have no sense of style (unless you consider birkenstocks and hiking attire ‘good style,’ which apparently you do based on your extreme offense to being “shit on” by the owner)..but did you ever think that maybe- just maybe, you got seated in this supposed “alley” also known as outdoor seating (there is no alley on this street for the record) and ALSO happened to be dressed badly at the time of the offense? Totally a crazy concept, I know- but just a thought.

    relax “Rich Bachelor,” this is portland 😉

  11. Marielle, I’m not sure if you’ve had carbonara before. It’s not supposed to be a cream-based sauce; most traditional recipes don’t even use cream or only sparingly. But that wasn’t even what Onstad took issue with, it was that the spaghetti, with carbonara, was served in a creamy parmesan sauce which ruined the carbonara. It’d be like serving a grilled steak in a bowl of bbq sauce or gilding a lily and then bronzing it.

    But you know, keep linking to websites, I’m sure that particular one is definitive and true above all others on the internet.

  12. I love the Slide Inn. I think the reviewer misses the point entirely. It is fantastic to be able to have a vegan sausage while my husband has the meat. The global fare is excellent. I love the varied choices, the fresh healthy food and amazing drinks. If someone wants a creamy pasta I think it is wonderful that Slide Inn can accommodate their gastronomic desires. The review doesn’t mention the brunch. I had the yam waffle while my husband had eggs benedict. I loved that we can eat these two dishes at the same restaurant, (usually we don’t dine together..just kidding)

  13. how much do you want to bet all of the positive comments are from the owners? the last one especially sounds like commercial dialogue. I have eaten there, twice, and have found it to be over priced and mediocre food. If i want freezer burn I will save my money and dig out the oldies from my own kitchen…

  15. wow. Some people are such haters. Just because someone doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean they were written “by the owners”, or friends of the owners. With such emotion that some of these negative comments are delivered,they are “undoubtedly posted by” other restaurants. I live in San Francisco and never miss the opportunity, when in portland to eat at LL Piatto. I love this spot, the owners and the food. I can’t wait to try this new, interesting concept. Susan in San francisco

  16. @Marielle, if you are still listening:

    With all due respect, I would say the Italian-language Wikipedia entry for Pasta alla Carbonara trumps epicurious.com for authenticity of definition:

    http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasta_alla_carbonara

    Let Google Translate do the work for you. Suffice it to say that cream is relegated to a variant recipe (with an inference that the result is inferior).

    BTW: not shilling here, but Tasty n Sons does a fantastic, creamless, version.

  19. rachel: hey there, employee of the month.

    I didn’t show up in Birkenstocks, because I don’t own any. But good job insulting Portlander’s style, fool. That’ll get folks likin’ ya’.

    Mmm, I’m pretty sure I get to be mad at someone who decided to be a dick to me for no good reason. Whether or not there is “an alley,” which seems important to you, is of no real concern to me, but apparently the boss lady thinks there’s one, or she wouldn’t have suggested so loudly that my date and I be seated there.

    Aaand you don’t really know if I was dressed “badly,” either. I didn’t look like a transient, I didn’t act like someone who had no idea how to behave in a restaurant with pretensions toward being a fine-dining establishment, I wasn’t abusive; nonetheless, I was treated badly by someone who ran a place with erratic service and generally awful food. I’ve never hesitated to tell people who considered going there those exact things.

    That, and my friend who was fired from there for refusing to serve shrimp that was clearly past its prime.

  20. I used to work at Il Piatto and can attest that Lenore and Eugene are very nice, typical small restaurant owners, i.e. crazy can’t-see-past-their-own-vision-nose micro-managing, lovely people. Il Piatto went terminally downhill a long time ago. The food had about a stick of butter in each dish – that’s both why it tasted delicious (back when it tasted delicious, before it got truly awful) and also why I spent the end of each dinner there in their bathroom trying not to throw up.
    It appears that the same basic approach is governing The Slide Inn. I live a few blocks away and would love to go there with my family, but I know better. I know the food will be overpriced, the service lackluster, and the actual taste of the food mediocre.
    We have so many options now, Portland, in this neighborhood. You can go to Ken’s, or Bamboo Sushi, or Screen Door, or Luce, or Tabla….there is no reason to go to The Slide Inn. I truly wish that something great would be in that space. Until then, I wish Lenore and Eugene all the best, and hope that they consider renting out the space to another promising chef and just focus on collecting the rent.

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