Nearly ninety percent of running the Food column for the Mercury is fielding vendor offers for free vodka. What this says about the last fellow I shall not say, but it would explain the wealth of profanity and old band names scribbled on the underside of the desk.
- Chris Onstad
- Exclusiv Vodca.
This onerous situation can, I think, be made less so with the help of you, our readership, in the form of a solicitation which will benefit my girlfriend, whom we shall in the interests of both privacy and Moldova call Lady Hpuçék. I present you with this empty glass, this blank canvas of Exclusiv Vodca (Moldova, distilled from wheat), and the following information: she has recently enjoyed cocktails flavored with cilantro, cucumber, gentle citrus, and exotic bitters, but has an open mind and stout constitution. Won’t you write in below with your creative drink suggestions? Any and all are appreciated, and no shot is off the board. We thank you in advance for your time.
I would add even more wheat. Show those anti-wheat fanatics what you’re made of.
Also, pumice.
The vodka should be distilled again (through my body).
@CC: THAT WOULD LEAVE US WITH A COCKTAIL OF URINE.
Moldova is the poorest country in Europe, consumes the highest portion of wine per capita in the world and is notorious for human trafficking, specifically of young women, specifically to be sex slaves in Israel (and presumably other countries). So: Muscat-vodka punch, served in a scuffed-up jam jar, garnished with several dashes of bitters and a muddled cherry. L’Chaim!
I’ve invented a drink called the Trans-Dniestr Radio. It’s made with—hold on, I have to take this call.
Put aside a mason jar, and place in it a handful of Lemon Scented Geranium leaves, some lemongrass smashed up, and a few slices of ginger. Cover the jar and let it sit for a week, shaking daily, then use it in a cocktail with a splash of ginger-ale and a lemon twist. You could also add a tiny bit of grenadine on top to make it look purdy. Good luck!
I don’t get it… why not try the beer instead? Don’t they all have the same vodkas anyway?