This week we discuss the closing of the beloved downtown cafe Half and Half. During my interview with owners Robin Rosenberg and Jeff Heisler, I was struck by this comment from Heisler:
“I had two customers cry today when I told them. I feel guilty, but I’m also excited to be doing something new.”
Oooooohhhh. We’re talking Guilt and Obligation after the jump.
That particular quote got me thinking about those bars, cafes, and restaurants I’ve loved that have long since closed, or changed in some irrevocable way. In most of the cases the closures or changes were out of necessity, due to some sort of catastrophic event or lack of revenue. Very rarely have I seen closures due to business owners becoming bored, or simply wanting something new.
The Half and Half closure brings to light a difficult issue with customer loyalty particularly complicated in businesses that revolve around nourishment. I feel the ties that bind customer to restaurateur are stronger compared to those that bind consumers to other businesses—be they TV networks or fashion boutiques. When someone cooks for you and serves you, it’s a weirdly intimate act. And like it or not, on some level (sometimes subconscious, sometimes not) it’s an emotional act. Because of that, a loyal customer can often feel their relationship with the business is more akin to friend or family than simply someone engaged in a business transaction. Hell, everyone knows your name at Cheers. The rest of the world (sometimes even your own family) could give two shits about what you call yourself.
So when a restaurant you love fails, it can feel like a catastrophe. When it’s given up, it can feel like a kind of betrayal.
The questions for me (and you, Blogtownies) are: Should any of this matter to a business owner? Does a business that has worked to build a relationship with customers have any obligation to them, beside providing the best service to the best of their ability? Is guilt over closing warranted? Or do customers like the wet-eyed Half and Half regulars just need to wipe their tears and let everyone get on with their lives?
They need to wipe their tears and let everyone get on with their lives. The one constant in life is change, and why should anyone be forced to do something (run a business) they no longer want to do?
To just a reader, it’s easy to say “wipe the tears and move on”. Half and Half is a HUGE part of my life. Probably the biggest as far as any local joint in town. Now that I am in South Tabor I don’t get to go there as much but I still try. For years I would go there at least 3 times a week, have some Courier coffee, smoke a cig (when I did that), pet Abola the dog, reflect, and most of all, just watch the city. It is and was really the only place I still felt was part of the Portland I grew up in. As a native, watching it change isn’t that big of a deal to me but seeing the one place I can count on packing up, is.
From a business/relationship standpoint: I own a hotdog stand. The best part is I rarely eat meat and have a better diet than almost all of my vegan/veg friends. I cook mostly raw, run, race bikes, and in general keep good health. Don’t get me wrong, I love cooking dogs. I like sauces, I like different kinds of bratwurst, I LOVE condiments. But it all boils down to the customers. I have a huge relationship with them and my job actually let’s me travel live a really great life. Again, it’s hotdogs, but I am in love with the customers, the brand, and the life it provides me. I couldn’t leave if I tried.
“When someone cooks for you and serves you, it’s a weirdly intimate act.”
Not for 99.9% of us (when it is at a restaurant, anyway). I pay them money, they cook and bring me food. It’s supposed to be delicious – 75% of what I’m paying for is for them to make food better than I can make it myself (the other 25% is convenience). If a place I really like closes, that sucks, but it’s certainly never going to be anything I cry over. Death, or lost love – those are things to cry about. Having to pick another of the 6,949,333 coffee shops/cafes/restaurants is not anywhere near that level.
As for your question about the business owners: sure, there’s nothing wrong with them feeling a little guilty, but put it in perspective, and do your best to start pleasing a new audience with your next venture.
To suggest otherwise is like asking a band to apologize for growing as artists between releases.
The relationship goes both ways. Restaurant owners are sad when regular customers move out of town and regulars are sad when their fave closes.
I think we need to get over this concept of guilt and obligation and acknowledge the universal truth that without feeling bad we would never know when we were feeling good. So we can feel sad and grieve a loss without it meaning we were supposed to do something different.
Providing a meal is not “an intimate experience.” But at a thoughtful, family run joint it’s also more than a business interaction; or at least it can be if you want it to. It’s all about relationships and how close we want them to says more about our own needs than it does about our cup of coffee or plate of pankcakes.