Speaking as a doctor, I can confirm that there is a frighteningly thin line between affection and obsession.
Sending your sweetie a bouquet of flowers? Definitely affection.
Tucking your fun bits between your legs, throwing your sweetie down a well and designing a suit made of her skin? Could go either way.
Spending 8 years crafting a remake of Streets of Rage that includes 103 levels, 19 playable characters, 64 enemies and 8 endings? Obsession, and you're kinda creepin' me out.
Hit the jump for more on that last thing.
First, let me just state that Streets of Rage is a damn rad game. Sega's answer to Final Fight has everything one could want from a classic, arcade-style beat 'em up: palette-swapped, day-glo thugs, delicious roast chickens tucked into various parts of the scenery and a female lead whose choice of combat gear is almost entirely designed around giving you the most upskirt action for your gaming quarter.
As a Sega kid (reppin' Green Hill Zone), I've got a special place in my heart for the entire series. That goes double for the kangaroo.
Thus, Bomber Games finally finishing its Streets of Rage Remake project has me all kinds of giddy. I'm gonna punch so many jerks!
So what do you get for 8 years of development time?
- 93 stages in story mode
- 5 stages in extra modes
- 5 stages in the Prototype mod (separate download)
19 PLAYABLE CHARACTERS
- SOR1 characters remastered with new moves
- SOR2 characters with new moves
- SOR3 characters with new moves
- New playable characters
- All enemies from SOR1 remastered.
- All enemies SOR2 (RGB color correction).
- All enemies SOR3 (RGB color correction).
- New enemies based on the Game Gear versions and even the cover the game!
- 76 in V5.
- 7 in the Prototype mod.
- Profile Editor
- Color Editor
- Name Editor
- Cutscene Viewer
- Profile Viewer (and commands)
- Image Gallery
- 16 cheats
- Battle Mode
- Survival Mode
- Boss Rush mode
- Events Mode (16 events)
- Volleyball Mode
- Allied cpu mode
- And more than 30 customizable options
The above should be enough to convince you to download the game, but since I already wrote text about this next thing, I'm gonna show it to you as well.
It's a work-in-progress level, but that is straight from Streets of Rage Remake. Especially important is the excellent, almost Seganian integration of totally batshit insane scenarios with clever gameplay gimmicks. The "please punch these walls or that bulldozer will run you over" concept makes for intense beat 'em up action, regardless of the eventual OSHA tantrum stemming from that thug's lack of protective eyewear.
If you're down with everything above and own a Windows PC, you can download Streets of Rage Remake right here.
Update: The massive press this thing has been getting has pushed a scary huge number of people toward the game's website. In an effort to prevent their server from bursting into flames, it seems that Bomber Games is periodically removing the download link. Normally I'd be cynical enough to rail against this strategy, but since Streets of Rage Remake is totally free, I can't really be mad at them. If you don't find the file at that link, check back later.