Maybe I prefer my rock idols to be mumbling heroin addicts instead of mumbling middle-aged reality TV personae.
Maybe I have an inconsolable fear of umlauts.
Maybe when I was a kid my parents told me Lemmy would steal my teeth if I didn’t get to bed on time.
For whatever reason I’m just not that into metal, and as a result I’m not that excited about Brütal Legend. Bear in mind that I have yet to play the thing, but from what I’ve seen I’m not exactly tenting my snakeskin trousers.
Call me a blasphemer, but creator Tim Schafer’s best work was when he was penning pirate-themed gags for LucasArts, and star Jack Black’s finest addition to pop culture so far has been convincing Dave Grohl to dress up as Satan.
But, the rest of the gaming literati is fighting tooth and nail gum and tongue over who can fellate the upcoming title with as much tender frenulum affection as possible. I won’t bore you with details you can easily find on Wikipedia, suffice to say it’s an adventure game that pits your metalhead roadie (voiced by Black) against the denizens of Hell (as seen on every heavy metal album cover your asshole older brother bought during the 1980s).
Whatever. I’m just the intensely charming, apparently blowjob-obsessed messenger. Publisher EA has dumped a huge batch of screenshots for your viewing pleasure, so have a glance past the cut and tell Blogtown if you’re with me or against me.
As usual, clicking any of the images will embiggen them for your viewing pleasure.
Okay, I’ll admit it. I had to look up the meaning of “frenulum”.
I kind of wish I hadn’t.
I’m with you, if this turns out to be good it will be in spite of the metal and the Jack Black.
Hasn’t the ironic metal idea been milked enough? Anyway. Whatever. This’ll never be as good as Full Throttle.