Krist Novoselic Sucks At Rock Band

Breaking news from the Portland of Washington (or are we the Seattle of Oregon?): Former Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic (pictured above, right) sucks at Rock Band.

He explains in a recent article from Seattle Weekly:

More recently, while walking through a one-stop shopping center, I encountered the Rock Band 2 video game. It was set up on display for customers to try.

I know about Rock Band, because Nirvana has some songs on it. I had never tried the game before, so I gave it a go. I worked through the menu and found the song “In Bloom.” I picked up the little guitar-shaped controller and hit the stage.

I knew the bass line to the song, of course, but I couldn’t quite master this new, different way of playing it.

The game reminded me of Space Invaders. I tried to hit the notes cascading down the screen, but could barely keep up.

Meanwhile, this kid was watching me fumble with the game. I became self-conscious and took the controller off. I handed it to him, and he proceeded to jam on the song—and was really good! He had no idea that I was the musician he was emulating on the game, and I didn’t tell him.

There you have it. Though Novoselic was one third of arguably the most important musical act of our generation, is a published author, and is an active voice in Washington state politics, you could totally kick his ass in a videogame.

Now maybe your mom will stop calling you “the little abortion I never had.”