You might know Toad as that annoying little fucker who greets you at the end of every fourth level (except the last one) of Super Mario Bros. and breaks your heart with the news that–despite you risking your very life to make it this far–the princess is in another castle. Upon hearing that fateful line as a NES-obsessed kid, “Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle,” I’d always try and shoot a fireball at Toad, but alas, it never worked. The ultimate video game killjoy, Toad was the most hated character of the 8-bit universe, even more so than Bowser–whose motive to kidnap and kill/eat/marry/whatever Princess Peach was essential to the game–because, really, what kind of sick bastard waits in a dark castle (again and again and again) only to break the news that all your effort was for not naught?
But maybe I’m wrong about Toad.
John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats and Kaki King have shed some light on this misunderstood mass of pixels with their new song (the appropriately named) “Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle.” Sung from Toad’s point of view, the song illustrates how the “humanoid mushroom” feels while waiting alone for Mario to come. The sulfur stench, the screams, the darkness… Toad had it pretty bad. Even the line “When you came in, I could breathe again,” is a bit heartbreaking to hear. While I’m not going to completely forgive Toad for mocking me at the end of each world, this song has made me a little less filled with hate than I was before. I suppose that’s a good thing.
LISTEN:
The Mountain Goats & Kaki King – “Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle.”
End Hits: Now whose gonna write a song about King Hippo? I have a lot to say about that guy…
I’m sorry… but your assertion that, “Toad was the most hated character of the 8-bit universe” is complete and utter bullshit.
The most hated character of the “8-bit universe” was the laughing dog from Duck Hunt.
I disagree. The laughing dog only came on when you did something wrong. You deserved to be laughed at. You missed the ducks.
Toad just appeared after you risked your three lives to save the princess. Not that I defend that dog though, like everyone else, I always tried to shoot the dog when it laughed at me.
So much digital animal cruelty…
Sorry, I’m going to have to side with Graham on this one. Toad was like the Butters of Super Mario Bros. He was pathetic, but in a completely innocuous way. I always wanted to buy him a hooker.
But that goddamn dog? Malicious and fed on my suck. Bastardo.
Thank you MME.
Toad was just a victim. You were rescuing him. He was kidnapped. His revelation of the futlity of your accomplishments was not of his own doing.
The dog was just an asshole.
Let’s not forget, the 8-bit universe is *much* larger than the NES alone, which itself sported a massive number of games. The two characters you’re arguing over were packaged on the same cartridge!
Hahaha! This song is fantastic.
“Through the bright ringing drone of 8-bit choirs…”
@tjsander:
We’re arguing over the “most-hatedness” of 8-bit characters. By sheer volume of carts sold (40.2 million total), the bundled Super Mario Bros. game has the most penetration. Therefore it wins by volume.
how can effort be for not? Don’t you mean, for naught?
Oops. Fixed.
I am naught good at writing.
Mike Tyson, most hated. He was also hated in his human form, not just his 8-bit form.