Here’s the first trailer for Battleship—the film based on the classic board game on which I used to kick my dumb brother’s ass on a regular basis—and here’s what we know so far:
1) It stars Liam Neeson, Alexander Skarsgård in the role Tom Cruise and Will Smith are too old to play, and an actress with nipples. (If after watching it again I can take my eyes off her nipples long enough to identify her, I’ll let you know.)
2) It also stars the Navy! And BATTLESHIPS. And Transformers??
3) B-14! (Hit.) B-15! (Hit.) B-13? (HIT! YOU SUNK MY MICHAEL BAY RIP-OFF!!)
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
i bet theres going to be a preview for next summer’s rom com blockbuster “connect 4”
Titanic II: Judgment Day
Tim Riggins joined the Navy?!
“Boat Cop: You Sank My Boat-tleship!”
*Battleboat
Totally needs Godzilla to appear and save the day at the end. Either that or an old Cuban fisherman who’s been dragged to Hawaii by a giant marlin.
“Nipples” is Brooklyn Decker.
Is this for real? Some actually spent time and money on this? And I thought my career ended badly
regards
The cast of “Street Fighter”
Poor Raul