After last night’s untimely death of Justin Bieber in a hail of bullets—and by the way, FUCK YOU, CSI!!!—there are people already lining up to take his place as the world’s most beloved pop idol. YOU GODDAMN VULTURES! Can’t you let his fans mourn in peace for just one fucking day?!?? Anyway, here’s one such dick.


via

https://youtube.com/watch?v=gIChsFrdf00

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)