Obviously I haven’t seen The Avengers: Age of Ultron yet. However! I find it extremely difficult to believe it will be better than this vegetable-themed Sesame Street parody called The Aveggies: Age of Bon Bon. It stars Onion Man, Captain Americauliflower, Black Bean Widow, Mighty Corn, (the decidedly UNCOOL) Zuchin-eye, and features Cookie Monster as Dr. Bruce Brownie—who really Hulks out on a cookie space ship. VERY FUNNY STUFF.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)