HI, NEW FRIEND! You live in ORE-uh-ghinn. NOT Ore-uh-GONE. NEVER Ore-uh-GONE. The first way is the only way you should ever pronounce the name of your new state. The second way is probably how your Aunt Hilda of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, pronounces the name of a state she’s never been to. Aunt Hilda has a great excuse! You do not. You live in ORE-uh-ghinn. Don’t ever call it Ore-uh-GONE. Seriously, even native Washingtonians (like me, born and raised in Seattle, I know, I’m part of the problem and I’m sorry) get real butthurt over this common but inexcusable gaffe. Let’s learn more things!
Couch: Yep, it’s for real pronounced “cooch.” I recommend practicing at home—”I’m gonna go pick up a Craigslist couch on Cooch!”—to get your giggles out before you have to say it IRL. Also, there’s a comedian in town who likes to tell a misogynist joke about Couch Street. It’s doubly offensive because it’s about injured vaginas, and also it isn’t very funny. Don’t be like that guy!
Glisan: Think Jackie Gleason, not a synonym for shiny.
Willamette: Say it with me now. Will-AM-mitt! Aw, doesn’t that feel nice? It had better feel nice, because there is NO ACCEPTABLE EXCUSE for mispronouncing the name of the very river that slices our city into neat li’l halves. Seriously, if you can’t handle saying Willamette right, or if you pronounce it like you’re fancy and fake-French, I hope someone steals your Le Creuset from Burnside 26 and taints it forever by using it to make poor-people food.
Columbia: Weirdly, it’s pronounced Columbi-YAY. The last syllable is screamed in mighty appreciation of the Mighty ColumbiYAY!
The Dalles: Not to be confused with the worst city in Texas, “The Dalles” rhymes with “the gals.” You are welcome!
“No worries”: No-WURR-ease. This is Pacific Northwest Nice™ for “You just ruined my day, but I am too polite to say so.”
More Newcomers’ Guide Articles:
Welcome to Portland!
Rain! Rain! Rain! Rain!
A Portlander’s Pronunciation Guide
Overrated Portland
Sports!
A Newcomers’ Guide to Making Friends
Portland Free Stuff
Getting Around Town
Neighborhood Guide
Finding a Place to Live
How to Apologize for Moving to Portland
Comedy PDX
Bicycle Death Traps
Portland History 101
Portland Myth Bustin’!
Portland Tourist Traps
Pretty sure glisan, named after Rodney Glisan is pronounced the other way, as in glisten. I don’t really give a shit,though, and neither should you.
It’s actually pronounced OR-e-GUN. I’m from YU-GENE. Go jump in the Colubi-YAY and swim back to Warshington. Dummy.
Patrick, it is indeed named after someone who pronounced his name “Glisten” but I think that fight was given up a long time ago (like half a century or more) even by natives, and everyone says “Glee-sen.”
Columbia.THERE’S NO YAY. I was born and raised in Portland, and no time in my entire 25 years on this beautiful Portland soil has anyone I’ve ever met, EVER, called it Columbi-YAY.
Seriously…Columbi-YAY? WTF is that about? Are you playing a joke on the newbies? You are literally the first person in human history to pronounce it that way.
Yup, very old Portlanders would tell you, “Listen, it’s Glis-sen.” But it’s been pronounced “Gleason” for as long as I’ve been aware of it, so that’s what it is now.
Oregon doesn’t have an accent, but we have ridiculously lazy diction. You may pretty much assume you’re in the right if you lose a syllable in most words. It’s not ‘Beaver-Ton,’ it’s “Beaverd’n.” “Portl’n,” “Oryg’n” and of course ‘Warrenton’ is “Warnt’n”
As to Willamette, I bet the embarrassing, “wrong” way of pronouncing it is actually the right way, but again, no one cares. It’s been pronounced “Wi-LAM-ette” for as long as I’ve been alive, so there it is.
Holy shit. Really?
ORY-GUN. Not ORE-uh-ghinn. Nice try, Washingtonian.
Col-um-beeyah. No ‘YAY”. Quit being silly.
As a 5th generation Oregonian, I should know.
I’ve actually heard The Dalles pronounced “The Dales”, see here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrb9MV5KIC…
Look at your keyboard, I think that Columbi-YAY was supposed to be Columbi-YAH. Its probably a typo. The y and h are so close together.
I hope so, otherwise I’ve either been saying it wrong for 33 years (ok, I wasn’t speaking for a couple of those I’m sure) and no one has had the balls to correct me. I might also be incompatible with Portland hipster lingo being a mid-valley native. And as I’m sitting on my couch (pronoucing it cow-ch, maybe because we’ve got more cows in this area?) I’m wondering who calls this thing a cooch. Pretty certain if I invited someone to have a seat on my cooch I’d being saying something lewd and anatomically impossible.
I think the point of this article was to make it easy for natives to pick out who is new to the area.
Also, Aloha is uh-LOH-uh, not uh-LOH-HA.
Seriously though, “Oregon” has 2 syllables: OR-GAN or OR-GUN. If you pronounce the E you are an import.
That’s bullshit. We pronounce the ‘y’ in Orygun.
If they want me to say Alowa they are going to have to take the palm trees off my cans and spell their town name right.
http://our.laurelhurstpdx.org/index.php?ti…