In case you’re wondering, racists get breast cancer, too! That’s why it’s vitally important for all racists—no matter what color they are, but they better be white—to check your private parts RIGHT FUCKING NOW for any sign of breast cancer…. especially in your testicles.

EXTREMELY AWKWARD PEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAACCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Oh, look. She also does an extremely awkward and racist-y version of Justin Bieber’s “Baby.” OH WOW, OH WOW, OH WOW!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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