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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! First of all... WHOOPEE-DOO! The Mercury's BURGER WEEK—featuring 48 (!!) delish burgers from your fave restaurants and only $8 each—is HERE... but it only runs through this Sunday, August 21! So eat 'em up! And if you're still feeling peckish, eat up this NEWS.


• Expect another hot one tomorrow as the area's heat advisory remains in effect through Thursday as temps are expected to hit 97 degrees.

• For the sixth time this year, Portland Police officers have fired their weapons at a member of the public. This time around the cops say they were trying to arrest a man in the Lents neighborhood for multiple warrants (including sexual assault) and the suspect pulled a gun on them. Shots were fired, but no one was injured, and the suspect was taken into custody. Our Alex Zielinski has more!

• Tough news for teens who want to look "cool": Leaders in Multnomah County are moving forward to develop a policy that would ban the sale of flavored (especially those sweet 'n' minty) nicotine products. Our Isabella Garcia has all the details. 

• In other kid news, the Oregon Health Authority has announced that the first case of pediatric monkeypox has been discovered in the state—but parents should not freak the fuck out, as there is a relatively low risk of young'uns catching the disease.


• The director of the CDC has admitted the agency botched their handling of the COVID-19 pandemic, and has called for a drastic overhaul of their systems to improve their response time and the way they present information to the public.

• After handily losing her primary in Wyoming (not exactly a big surprise), Republican Rep. Liz Cheney quickly hinted at a presidential run—probably if nothing else just so she can continue handing Trump his ass.

• Meanwhile former Veep Mike "the Very Least He Can Do" Pence is once again doing the very least he can do, and telling the GOP to stop attacking the FBI for doing their job, and that he "will consider" testifying before the January 6 congressional panel. Yayyyyy, our hero. 🙄

• Opening statements in the R. Kelly's federal trial were given today by prosecutors who accused the singer of not only sexually assaulting minors, but paying to cover up the evidence.

• And finally... BRB, going to get my hair done.