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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! How are you? Fine, I hope. Hey, did you know that the Mercury just loves "tips"? And we love two types of tips in particular! Find out more about those here. And now, allow me to tip you off to some NEWS!


• Idaho's draconian near-total abortion ban (except in the case of medical emergencies) went into effect today, and Portland's Planned Parenthood says that they're already seeing an increase of patients from states who have banned the procedure. (BTW, here's how to say "fuck YOU, Idaho Republicans" and donate to Planned Parenthood.)

• OH YAY (sarcasm): Betsy Johnson—the machine-gun owning, tax form hoarding, shadow Republican candidate for governor—has turned in more than enough signatures  to make it onto the November ballot. Yaaaaaaaay.

• Speaking of Betsy Johnson: Thinking caps on! It's time to play Portland's funnest trivia game, POP QUIZ PDX. This week: More shenanigans from Betsy, a possible local alien invasion (?), the greatest chip in the world, and... tote bags? TOTE BAGS!  

• In local film news (with 🔥 casts):

• Speaking of spitting 🔥, it's a YUGE week for new music and local festivals! Check out all the shows you better not sleep on (such as the Lose Yr Mind fest) with Jenni Moore's newest edition of HEAR IN PORTLAND!


• Pop up some corn, because a federal judge has ordered the Justice Department to release the redacted affidavit associated with the FBI's search warrant of Trump's Mar-a-Lago, where he was hoarding scads of classified files. Tomorrow's release should contain LOTS of spicy details on why the FBI was so concerned about Trump's possession of such top secret materials.

• Today in UGH: Two Floridians have plead guilty to stealing the diary of presidential daughter Ashley Biden, and selling it to conservative media company Project Veritas for $40,000. (However, the creepy company says they refused to publish it, for rarely implemented "ethical reasons.")

• Oh, I do love a sweet White House burn:

• Whether due to desperation or overconfidence, Russia's Vladimir Putin is boosting the number of fighting troops he's sending into Ukraine, to the tune of 137,000 soldiers.

• Right on brand: "Missouri school district allows parents to opt in to corporal punishment of their children."

• Good news for kids: A federal appeals court has ruled that Arkansas cannot enforce it's horrible, shitty ban on gender-affirming medical care for transgender children.

• And finally... get it, Karen Carpenter.