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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Alert! Alert! You only have until THIS SUNDAY to rush out and try all 27 (!) plates of $6 wings (!!)—it's all part of the Mercury's absolutely delicious WING WEEK! Now let's scarf down some NEWS.



•  A new study from tri-county officials have found that over half (!) of transgender and nonbinary people who died in the Portland metro area over the past decade were misgendered on their death certificates. Our Isabella Garcia digs into the groups demanding change.

• Even more trouble for Thorns/Timbers owner Merritt Paulson (if you can imagine it): The National Women’s Soccer League Players’ Association is continuing its joint investigation (with the NWSL) into the alleged systemic abuses from league management... and in a scathing statement released today pointed their fingers at Portland's team in particular.

• If Megan Rapinoe says you're through... YOU ARE THROUGH.

• A jury that just awarded $40 grand to a medic who was assaulted by members of the Portland Police during a 2020 protest has been called into question after it was revealed one of the jury's members works for the city—which could spark a new trial.

• Today in "utter desperation": Failed council candidate Vadim Mozyrsky and failed organizer of People for Portland, Kevin Looper, have formed a political action committee to raise campaign funds for completely unqualified (and election law breaking) candidate for city council Rene Gonzalez. 🙄 (How can these people have so much time to fuck around? Get a job, hippies!)


• DANK BRANDON STRIKES! Today President Biden announced he's granting pardons to thousands who have been convicted of cannabis possession under federal law. The pardon will wipe clean the records of those convicted of simple possession between the years of 1992 to 2021, and hinted that his administration will study whether weed should remain a Class 1 drug—the same classification that's been given to heroin.

• A member of the Proud Boys is the first of his domestic terrorist organization to plead guilty to seditious conspiracy with other PB members to violently overthrow the results of the 2020 election.

• According to a report from the Washington Post, federal investigators think they have enough evidence to charge the president's son, Hunter Biden, with tax crimes as well as lying when filling out paperwork to purchase a gun.


• A judge has granted billionaire shithead Elon Musk a delay in his trial with Twitter, giving the two parties until October 28 to work their crap out. (And hopefully inspiring Musk to drop the purchase and do something productive with his life, ha, as if.)

• And finally... "and they make fantastic pets"? NOPE, NOPE, A THOUSAND TIMES NOPE!