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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Get ready for a gorgeous start to your week with mostly sunny skies and highs in the low 70s for both Monday and Tuesday. But don't worry—cloudy and rainy weather will return by the weekend for you ghouls. (As an occasional ghoul myself, I begrudgingly support this.) And now for some only partly ghoulish NEWS.


• In case you missed it, last week two Portland commissioners released dueling homelessness plans to replace the current "time, place, and manner" ordinance that was about to be laughed out of court for criminalizing houseless folk without providing necessary shelter. And surprise, Commish Rene Gonzalez released the absolute WORST new version, which not only was originally planned to slap poverty-stricken people with a $500 fine and/or six months in jail (he later walked that back after howls of fury from people with an actual moral compass), but wanted to give full control over the ordinance to the current and future mayor (which he would very much like to be). How is Commissioner Carmen Rubio's plan different? Check out the full and detailed report from our Courtney Vaughn who has the latest.

• Oh and speaking of broken moral compasses, Commissioner Dan Ryan (with an assist from his pal Gonzalez) recently tried to blame the rise in homeless traffic fatalities on the victims themselves, by accusing the deceased (with very little evidence) of being hooked on fentanyl. Ryan also had harsh words for PBOT staff who he accused of using an “undertone of car-shaming” (!) when they were describing people who've been killed by drivers. (And this guy is running for city council again? Ohhhhhh, we're not going to allow that, are we?) Our Taylor Griggs has the full infuriating details. 

• In a very much related story, the US Supreme Court is scheduled to hear oral arguments today in the Oregon-spawned Grants Pass v. Johnson, a case which could overrule a decision that cities cannot issue citations to houseless folk without first providing enough shelter. The judges' decision (which will probably drop in late June) could send shock waves through cities across the nation, and if it falls the wrong way, could allow cynical officials (like a certain commissioner I know) to be as cruel to the homeless as they wanna be. 

• A must-read (also very much related) Twitter thread:

• The Oregonian Editorial Board (AKA the Portland Business Alliance Junior Rangers) is getting rightfully FLAMED after endorsing two losers for seats on the Multnomah County Commission: Vadim Mozyrsky (another biz alliance puppet who's run for practically every office in town and lost, except for Dog Catcher... oh, that's right... we don't have a Dog Catcher, but he'd lose that too), and former Mayor Sam Adams (who desperately wants to return to office, but came in an embarrassing third place for a city council seat in 2020, was accused of sexually harassing staffers at a DC think tank, booted from Mayor Wheeler's team for reportedly bullying women, and ... what else? Oh yeah, that "lying about sleeping with a 17-year-old" thingie). As I wrote in the latest "Say Nice Things About Portland" issue, when you see that someone is endorsed by the business alliance, the police union, or the Oregonian, RUN THE OTHER WAY.

• Remember this guy?

• Good news: The historic Timberline Lodge partially reopened yesterday after a fire damaged the hotel's attic, forcing the ski destination to close for a few days. Crews are busy repairing a big hole in the lodge's roof, and cataloguing and cleaning up Timberline's historic art pieces.


• The opening statements in the criminal "hush money" trial of former president Donald Trump kicked off today in New York City, in which the jury will most likely hear LOTS of juicy stories about his relationship with adult film actress Stormy Daniels, and his 34 counts of falsifying business records in his attempts to shut her up before the 2016 presidential election. We'll see if "Sleepy Don" can stay awake during the proceedings.

• The head honcho of Israeli military intelligence has resigned for failing to recognize and stop the October 7 attack on Israelis by Hamas terrorists who killed 1,200 and took 250 hostages. While Maj. Gen. Aharon Haliva may have been the first to call it quits, more military resignations are expected in the near future.

• Hundreds of Columbia University students have returned to camp out on the school's lawn after 100 protesters were arrested last Thursday. The students are protesting Columbia's financial investment in companies who support Israel's war on Palestine, and today university officials are advising students to stay away from campus and attend classes virtually, as the demonstrations go into the sixth day.

• Why couldn't my birthday party be like this?? 😭

• Happy Earth Day to those who celebrate (*gives stink eye to corporate polluters and their GOP enablers*), and President Biden is marking the occasion by forking over $7 billion in federal grants for residential solar projects, and expanding his American Climate Corps green jobs training program.

• And finally... this is me trying to get Portland City Council to do the right thing.