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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Keep your shades on because today’s high is 87 degrees. 😎🌶 No, it’s not summer yet.


  • Suspected serial killer Jesse Calhoun pleaded not guilty yesterday in Multnomah County Circuit Court. Calhoun is charged with killing three women in 2023–Joanna Speaks, Charity Perry, and Bridget Webster–and leaving their bodies in various remote areas of Oregon and Southwest Washington. Speaks, 32, was found in Ridgefield, Washington on April 8, 2023. The Clark County Medical Examiner noted she died of blunt force injuries to her head and neck. Later that same month, on April 23, the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office announced Perry, 24, was found near Ainsworth State Park in east Multnomah County. Less than a week later, on April 30, the body of Webster, 31, was found in Polk County, Oregon. Law enforcement initially denied any connection among the women’s deaths, and tried to quash buzz about a potential serial killer, but last July, the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office announced separate death investigations of four homicide victims were likely linked. Kristin Smith, 22, and Ashley Real, 22, were also found dead in 2023 during a four-month span from February to May. Calhoun hasn’t been charged in the homicides of Smith or Real, but those investigations are ongoing.
  • While we’re on the subject of criminal justice, Multnomah County District Attorney-elect, Nathan Vasquez, has apparently requested additional funds for drug-related prosecutions in the county’s next budget. Vasquez, a current deputy DA, reportedly discussed the issue with a county commissioner ahead of the county’s nearly $4 billion budget adoption this week. The request for more funding to prosecute drug crimes has some criminal justice and health organizations crying foul.
  • This Wednesday marked the first day for Portland City Council candidates to officially file for election. Ahead of the official June 5 filing date, more than 70 candidates have already signaled their intent to run for a council seat, by filing campaign transactions with the Secretary of State and applying to receive funds through Portland’s Small Donor Elections program. Council and mayoral candidates have until August 27 to file. Having trouble keeping track of it all? US TOO! But don’t worry, we’re doing our damnedest to track each candidate running for a council seat or mayor in November. You can check out our candidate tracker here.
  • Tomorrow from 10 am to noon is the Rose Festival’s Grand Floral Parade, an event that festival organizers have deemed “the grandest of all parades” on the festival calendar. When it comes to community parades, this is the real deal, not the hokey little jaunt of fraternal organizations, insurance companies, and the single marching band from your crappy hometown.
  • Listen, the news will make your head spin and often, your blood boil. Chill out with a lovely cocktail during the few remaining days of the Mercury’s Highball Week.


  • Remember Steve Bannon? The far-right champion and Breitbart News co-founder, who briefly served as a top adviser to Donald Trump, was ordered to serve a four-month prison sentence for contempt of Congress. A judge ruled Bannon can’t dodge the sentence anymore, after a federal appeals court denied Bannon’s request for the higher court to review and revoke his conviction. The dead-eyed, likely long-lost descendant of baby Sinclair from the ‘90s TV show Dinosaurs got into legal trouble after refusing to comply with a subpoena related to his involvement in the January 6, 2021 US Capitol riots.
  • The US House of Representatives passed a bill Tuesday to sanction the International Criminal Court, which rules on war crimes, over the court’s call for arrest warrants for Benjamin Netanyahu and Hamas leaders. The bill is unlikely to go anywhere. The Biden administration opposes the bill, along with most Democrat lawmakers who say it’s an overreach. Moreover, Israel isn’t part of the war crimes court, so the court has little to no authority to order the arrests.
  • In the What the Actual F*ck?! department, the Kansas Supreme Court ruled that voters in the state have no constitutional right to vote. In a split decision last week, the Kansas Supreme Court noted the state’s constitution doesn’t mention a right to vote. The ruling came after a lawsuit challenging recent state legislation related to signature verification on mail-in ballots.
  • In science and health news, some doctors and researchers suspect COVID-19 could cause some forms of cancer. The data isn’t solid and there’s no evidence of a link between the coronavirus and certain rare forms of cancer, but hospitals and oncology centers recorded a spike in young people diagnosed with advanced stages of uncommon cancers during the pandemic.

Your irreverent laugh for the day:

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