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Good Morning, Portland: Today I'm joined by the inimitable Suzette Smith for a few short cameos because, well, sometimes great people do kindnesses for other people. And if those people go on to do kindnesses for other people, it can start a chain reaction, ultimately leading to an everlasting peace on earth (if you want it). 🌎

I'm sorry. Let's get to the news.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

  • The former director of the city's housing bureau is speaking out about the months leading up to November, when Mayor Keith Wilson put her on leave and ultimately asked her to resign. Helmi Hisserich sent a memo Portland City Council Thursday, saying she felt Wilson and his administrative staff unfairly blamed her for millions of dollars that went unspent before she even started the job in 2024. In the memo, she said she did nothing wrong, and that her boss told her not to share the information with city councilors because it would create a "big PR problem." Hisserich's memo also suggests she was denied opportunities for advancement, and pushed out of her position for uplifting the same social housing strategies she was hired to implement. There's probably more to this story; we'll keep you posted. Read our coverage here.

Former Housing Director Says She Was Told Not to Disclose Millions in Unspent Funds. A memo Helmi Hisserich sent to city councilors says city administration viewed unspent funds as "a big PR problem." ✍️ @jeremiahhayden.bsky.social

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) December 4, 2025 at 4:01 PM
  • The Christmas Ships have shared their parade schedule for the season, and ventured out for their first parade last night. BUT those heroic, unyielding saviors of our city won’t actually toot toot on the cold and frothy Willamette River until MONDAY. While you wait, please revisit the annual lore of the night that the brave skippers of the Christmas Ships saved Portland from Aquilorn, Cruel King of the Mer-People. SUZETTE SMITH
  • A Portland civil attorney was ordered to pay $2,000 in fines on Wednesday because his office used artificial intelligence to write a brief he then filed. UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM the opposing legal counsel was former state lawmaker and retired attorney Charles Ringo. Ringo told The Oregonian “he spent several hours chewing over Watson’s document, eventually making a trip to the Bend library to check legal databases and confirm his suspicions that Watson’s arguments were bolstered by fake decisions in prior cases that never happened.” SS

  • The Portland Art Museum (PAM) recently redesigned its layout, making for a more accessible and enjoyable experience. The Rothko Pavilion opened just two weeks ago, and if you're making weekend plans, the new space is well worth a visit. Some of the galleries were harder to find in the old structure, but with all the museum's floors connected through the Rothko Pavilion, viewers have a newly found access to Native American Art galleries, the Black Art & Experiences gallery, and more. Suzette Smith walks you through a very alluring preview here. (She didn't write this bullet point, just the full story.)

IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS:

  • Federal authorities say they arrested a suspect in the DC pipe bomb case from January 6, 2021. They say the man planted two pipe bombs outside the Democrat and Republican offices, and he's been on the run ever since. The FBI, which notoriously has a 100% success rate for getting the right people and never J. Edgar Hoover-ing the wrong people, said it tracked the suspect's banking and shopping data in their effort to catch him. đź“ş 🎤And that, folks, is why you always use đź•şTrump crypto đź•ş after you do crimes 🎤 đź“ş. That way you can a) cover up your work, and b) ingratiate yourself to the nation's top judge, and buy yourself a pardon in the event of an emergency.

  • If you haven't been paying attention, let me be the first to tell you: President Trump and Pete Hegseth have been doing war crimes. They have been killing people they say without evidence are bringing drugs to the US by boat through the Caribbean and Pacific. They've killed 81 people, and last week they killed two survivors on a boat they just attacked—called a "second strike," and definitely also called a "war crime." Well, they're back at it yet again, as the Pentagon announced yesterday that it conducted yet another in the east Pacific, killing four. Now, a US House caucus called New Democrat Coalition is calling for Hegseth's resignation, calling him "incompetent, reckless, and a threat to the lives of the men and women who serve in the Armed Forces." We're still waiting on the full strongly worded letter that will get both of them out of office. Stay tuned. 

  • Quick reminder: It's never too late to quit!

Spotify is garbage on every count: Its treatment of artists, its ICE advertising, the CEO's investment in military AI, its leading role in the commodification and AI slopification of music, its terrible audio quality—you name it. So I quit, and put together a complete guide to getting off Spotify:

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— Brian Merchant (@bcmerchant.bsky.social) December 2, 2025 at 4:09 PM
  • Pantone announced its color of the year for 2026 and it's all white tbh. Take a look below and judge for yourself. Someone called it "landlord white," which I fact checked and it's 100% true. 

    This is the first time Pantone has chosen a shade of white. The company says it's "a lofty white that serves as a symbol of calming influence in a society rediscovering the value of quiet reflection." n.pr/4rDF0jv

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    — NPR (@npr.org) December 4, 2025 at 4:22 PM
  • In 2012, 2,700 Kickstarter backers supported a pretty frivolous idea: Raise money to create and install a statue of RoboCop in Detroit, MI. Why? Because the 1987 Paul Verhoeven sc-fi film is set in Detroit (it was actually filmed in Dallas, Texas). Anyway, Detroit sculptor Giorgio Gikas finished the statue in 2017, and it sort of sat around for a while because no one could figure out where to put it. WELL NOW the statue has finally been installed at Free Age Productions, an indie film production company located in Detroit’s Eastern Market. SS

Ok, one more: