MONDAY, MARCH 19
Dearest darling dears: Welcome back to One Day at a Time, where you can always find the latest news about Ben Affleck’s massive back tattoo depicting a phoenix rising from the ashes! (C’mon, rich white men! DO BETTER.) As you undoubtedly recall, Benny has previously denied the existence of his back tat, telling Extra in 2016 that the body art was “fake, for a movie.” Welp, that’s some temporary tattoo—because a photog recently snapped shirtless Ben in Hawaii, and the phoenix was still there! (Apparently “rising from the ashes” takes a smidge longer than expected.) MEANWHILE… Today we learned the unsettling news that Cambridge Analytica, a digital company hired by Trump’s campaign, reportedly stole 50 million Facebook users’ personal information in order to influence the 2016 election (all under the watchful eye of pineapple-faced evildoer Steve Bannon). Weirdly, people weren’t happy about that: Facebook’s stock nosedived, and the company suffered a $50 billion loss in market value. By Wednesday, the #DeleteFacebook hashtag took hold on Twitter, and untold numbers of users deleted their Facebook accounts… including our fave celeb Cher, who said she was doing so out of “love for my country.” However, at least one person is refusing to get rid of Facebook: Hubby Kip, who claims that deleting his account would “irreparably harm those who have come to expect daily photos of my lunch (usually a bologna sandwich and Cheetos) or selfies with my life-size cardboard cutout of Worf, son of Mogh and Lieutenant Commander of the USS Enterprise.” #DeleteHubbyKip