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May your June/July be as beautiful as you are, but not as hot, because that would be too hot.
GOOD MORNING, SUNDAY! It’s the perfect time to catch up on some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! (PRO TIP: If you despise being “the last to know,” then be one of the first to know by signing up for Mercury newsletters! All the latest stories shipped directly to […]
Hello everyone, and welcome to another edition of THE TRASH REPORT! I am Elinor Jones, also known as several raccoons in a trench coat, here to walk you through some of the nonsense we call life. Remember, when there where only two footprints on the beach, that’s because we laid down; those footprints were someone […]
Love boating or cruising for a bruising? designprojects / iStock / Getty Images Plus Hi everyone, and welcome to another edition of The Trash Report! It’s me, Elinor Jones, first and foremost offering my most sincere congratulations on surviving another week. It’s…grim. BREAKING: in a landmark 6-3 decision the Supreme Court has ruled Americans can […]
Expect an apology for these pants in 3… 2…. Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images Hiyeeeee! It’s me Elinor Jones, the gal whose dexterity with the gossip rivals only the dexterity of raccoons when they’re opening up a jar. (In case you didn’t know, raccoons are skilled at opening jars. Also, did you know that […]
Come on Barbie, let’s go party… once I rip off my sleeves. Carlos Alvarez / Getty Images Hi everyone, and welcome back to THE TRASH REPORT, where we will talk about some garbage-y things in a smart way, and some smart things in a garbage way. It’s up to YOU to determine what’s what. Flip […]
Would you buy this romance novel at a grocery store? Yes, you would. Kevin Winter / Getty Images Hello friends, lovers, and those I’ve yet to categorize, and welcome to another edition of THE TRASH REPORT! Let’s roll around in it together like dogs do when they find something gross on the beach, then smell […]
Could a dead person do this? [does not move or blink or breathe] WPA Pool / Pool / Getty Images Europe Hello, and welcome to another week of garbage with me, Elinor Jones, your human raccoon with hot tips on all the stankiest dumpsters. Wanna go for a ride? Well, you’re going. Sports! Portland basketball […]
Hips don’t lie—but Shakira’s accountants do. John Moore / Getty Images Hi everyone, and welcome to another week of garbage. And wow, what a week. Really one of the worst I can recall, and that’s saying something, because the times? They are bad. And as the nation is grieving another massacre of children by users […]
“Oh, I didn’t see you standing there, and I don’t want your attention AT ALL” is what Julia Fox (left) likely said here. A’Ziah (right) King is perfect and we have no complaints. Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images Hi everyone, and welcome to another edition of The Trash Report! They say sunlight is the best disinfectant and—boy […]
If you like Ariana Grande in this dress, you’ll *love* her in less! Robin Marchant / Getty Images Entertainment Welcome, friends, to another edition of The Trash Report. I am three racoons standing on each other’s shoulders in a trench coat, also known as Elinor Jones. Times are—as usual—bad, but I’ve dumpster-dived some winners this […]
Reality star gets more attention. Great work, everyone. Mike Coppola / Getty Images Entertainment Hi everyone, and welcome back to The Trash Report, where I sift through some really very dark and depressing news to bring you a few juicy odds and ends and then add my cute commentary to hopefully bring a little bit […]
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