I’ve been complaining about the wastefulness of phone books for a few months now, but this weekend’s arrival of the Yellowbook was a slap in the face:

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Neighbors in the Creston-Kenilworth Yahoo group echoed my irate opinions about the greenwashed Yellowbook. But miracle of miracles, one of them managed to track down the phone number of someone who will actually come to your house, pick up your unwanted phone book and offer to take you off their delivery list altogether. Hallelujah!1

Dialing 1-800-373-3280 will get you to the national Yellowbook distribution HQ. The line seems to be primarily used for people applying for a job dropping off phone books, but after a robot informs you that job information will be available at “a meeting with casual dress code,” you’re connected to a person who will arrange to have the Yellowbook delivery drivers come by and un-deliver your phone book. This exclusive limited time offer only lasts while they’re still distributing phone books in Portland, so act now!

1. I just realized that maybe having someone drive a van back to my house to pick up and reuse one phone book is worse for the environment than if I just recycled it on my own. Uh… so maybe you should band together as neighbors if you’re going have your phone books undelivered.

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

17 replies on “Dear Yellowbook: Fuck You!”

  1. I think the people of Portland should just figure out who is dropping these off and go adn throw all the phonebooks on their front sidewalk. Preferably right before it rains.

  2. Dial John Kroger at (503) 378-4400.

    Oregon Statutes – Chapter 164 – Offenses Against Property – Section 164.805 – Offensive littering.

    (a) Discarding or depositing any rubbish, trash, garbage, debris or other refuse upon the land of another without permission of the owner, or upon any public way or in or upon any public transportation facility;

    Go Sarah go!

  3. A better tactic would be to pressure the state government to make phone book delivery an “opt-in” program. Or, at the very least, have them make a single “opt-out” website where you can go to have your name taken off ALL the lists. As it is now there are a half dozen companies delivering these things, and so you have to track down 6 different ways to get your name off the list.

  4. wonderful language Sarah. I bet your mom would be real proud of you. Think you could have expressed this in a little more adult fashion.

  5. Wow…people still have Yahoo groups?

    I have a business that gets 10-20 phone calls a month from my stupid phone book ad. I don’t use them and think about cancelling every year but some people (more importantly my customers) are using them…

    I figure when I start to see my customers writing comments on blog posts I’ll cancel. Most folks that call me aren’t what you’d call internet saavy. Give it a few years, though. Then I’ll just have to post on Facebook to get new customers.

  6. I toss these things, the Oregonian’s food Day, in the middle of the street.

  7. I’d wager that costing them money by making someone come back to your house puts them closer to going out of business, which is the most sustainable option here. So, everybody call and have them pick up their litter!

  8. Get a life- There are enough people with out jobs and losing more everyday. You want them to go out of business, why- so you do not have to walk to your recycle can??? Man, be an american and fight for something worth fighting for. Maybe stand up for what our parents and their parents stood up for. Our freedom. We are losing jobs everyday, Obama, Pelosi, Wall Street, and more are taking our tax $ and wasting them. Let’s get back on our feet and then fix one thing at a time like we would do in our own homes and businesses.
    Stand up for democracy, capitalism, and a govt for the people. Stop your wining about a book and help people keep their jobs so that our economy can grow. My god, are you really whining about a phone book. They will go away when the ads stop working. As you read from above he is still getting over 20 per month. I think that explains that people still use them. Stand up for something important like your future and all our kids futures. Stimulas- trillions of $ wasted. Take that money and give it to every american (legal) over 18 and we will all go out spend it. Problem fixed. Stop whining

  9. To all the vulgar cynical phonebook-hating techno-snobs… There are many people that still use the printed directory. At the business that I used to manage we would get half of our calls from the directory. They are made from recycled material and tree farm bi-products. Tree farms are a sustainable way to help cut carbon dioxide. They are also making their books smaller. They have shifted over to online options but they keep the printed directory (I wounder why they would do that if no one used it). I find it strange that the mercury which wastes so much paper and get’s it’s revenue from ads would be hosting this heading.
    To have someone come to your house and pick up the book would be a shameful wast. We should be trying to keep people working in Oregon and supporting companies that are employing Oregonians.

  10. It does not cost them any extra money to come and pick up the books, most of the time. It just means that some poor guy who already works 10 or 12 hours a day has to use his own gas to come and pick up the book instead of having dinner or spending time with his family. Recycle the book if you don’t think you will use it, do something creative with it, or call and “opt-out.” You might think you are sticking it to the man when you call and have it picked up without joining the opt-out list, but the message will never reach the top. They make the phone book smaller every year, try to selectively deliver, use recycled materials or waste materials to produce them, and offer the opt-out, so these are all steps in the right direction, don’t you think?

  11. @Cobb “they keep the printed directory (I wounder why they would do that if no one used it)” – I’ll tell you why – because the Yellow sellers make money on it. They sell super expensive ads. Yellow Book is crazy expensive, and has a really hairy contract to ensure they get every last cent. See http://yellowadbook.blogspot.com. Do we really need 6 different yellow book/page books per household? No. For most households, the book from the local phone company is more than enough. But 6 different companies want to make money selling ads, so, voila, our yards are littered with books we don’t want so advertising companies can make a few bucks.

    Isn’t the advertising company littering when they dump unwanted yellow books/pages/etc. on my yard?

    As for American jobs – Yellow Book is owned by Yell Group, a foreign company. So, sure, maybe we’re creating a handful of low-paid temp jobs, a handful of high-pressure sales jobs (with salespeople so trustworthy that the contract has to disclaim any responsibility for the salespeople’s claims), but, for the most part, the money goes to New York and Texas execs/legal depts and foreign owners.

    There is a difference between Yellow Book and Yellow Pages and all the other companies. Opting out of one will not opt you out of the others. You have to opt out of them all.

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