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Not The Onion:

A New Hampshire car dealer is offering everyone who buys a car a free AR-15 assault rifle, a type of weapon similar to the one used in the Orlando LGBT nightclub massacre.

Mike Hagan owns Hagan’s Motor Pool Auto Repair and Sales in Rochester. He says he’s given away four AR-15s and one 9mm handgun, an option for buyers who don’t want the rifle... He says the possibility the weapons he’s giving away could be used to kill civilians doesn’t weigh on him.

And you get a gun! And you! And you! And you! Everyone gets a military-grade weapon!