So today I woke up with lung cancer… WTF?? Then I realized maybe I shouldn’t have followed the suggestion of this 1936 Camel ad advising me to smoke after every Thanksgiving course.

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Not only do I have lung cancer, but I’m STILL constipated. Thanks a pantload, Camel!!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)