My Name Is Robby. What's Yours?

My Name Is Robby. Whats Yours?

  • My Name Is Robby. What’s Yours?

Hello boys and girls. Welcome to Bear Affair, where a friendly bear in bright blue overalls and a trucker hat invites you into his warm, safe belly to whirl you around in lulling circles while carnies look on in stoic delight. Yep, this little guy will extend his belly button ramp so you and yours can take sanctuary from the Rose Festival crowds atop the lower intestines of a brown bear with dead eyes. We call this the “Bear Affair.” Enjoy your time in Robby the Bear’s bowels.

Oh yeah, the Rose Festival carnival starts tomorrow.

Mercury copy chief and appreciator of the most sophisticated form of comedy: PUNS!

16 replies on “Crawl into My Warm Snuggly Tummy, Said the Bear”

  1. Or as people who work near the waterfront refer to it, “carnival 14/135 of 2011.” Every goddamn weekend from May through September there’s another stupid excuse for dumbshits from all over the tri-county area to come grope each other and barf up cotton candy.

    Every weekend, it’s the same companies, same rides, same setups, same shit, different name.

    I would be wildly in favor of limiting the number of spring/summer weekends Waterfront Park becomes Douchebag Central.

    In closing, HARRUMPH.

  5. @C&B: I just need everyone to realize that my insanely narrow definition of fun is the only valid one, and then act accordingly. Is that really so hard?

    Also:

    Alison’s Tualatin-sized shoulder chip should be it’s own carnival ride.

    In closing, BRRRRRN.

  8. The casual classism that underlies progressive Portland’s attitude toward the suburbs bums me out.

    Also, dude, it’s kind of weird how you’re always trying to ride my shoulder.

  9. The Mercury is basically the standard-bearer of snobby, Progressive Portland, as much as it might protest otherwise.

    Re: shoulder riding- It’s because it’s easier to feel better than everyone else when I’m up there.

  11. I dislike the part where you have to pay to even get inside the area with carny rides and games.

    BUT! I like going to the Rose Test Garden(?) and seeing the tiles with all the past years Rose Festival Queens. It’s very nostalgic. Plus there’s always people getting married there this time of year, which is kind of cute or annoying.

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