Look, there is jack shit going on news-wise today. Instead of being on the internet where they should be, everyone is outside soaking up the sunshine. So when Denis pulled a new dollar coin out of his pocket, it was pretty much the most exciting thing that had happened all day.

“AAAAA!” we screamed. Because that dollar was not minted in the sweet, strong face of Sacagawea but the grisly visage of Old Rough and Ready:

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Zachary Taylor: His eyes follow you as you move.

We are hereby nominating Zachary Taylor for Scariest Looking President. Runner up goes to JQA. Face most like an old peach pit goes to James Madison. Best hair goes to Martin Van Buren. Best ‘stache to Chester A. Arthur. Shy, British-looking heartthrob goes to Buchanan. Good day.

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

6 replies on “And Now a Moment to Discuss Old Rough and Ready”

  1. THAT’S FUNNY…..SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IS COVERING THE SIGNATURE-GATHERING DEADLINE FOR INITIATIVE PETITIONS TO MAKE THE FALL BALLOT.

  4. I like dollar coins! The Feds killed the dollar coin program, though! (Here: http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2011/12/14/…)

    Martin Van Buren had great hair! I gave myself Martin Van Buren sideburns, once! It was fun! People were all like “Hey, you look like Wolverine!” and then I said “Wolverine is CANADIAN, you ahistorical yahoos!” Many historians believe that James Buchanan was Gay! “Old Rough and Ready” kinda sounds dirty! John Quincy Adams believed that serving in the house of representatives was more important than the presidency! He had a stroke in what used to be the House of Representatives chamber and is now a Congressional statuary hall!

    History!

  5. Who the FUCK is Zachary Taylor? Isn’t he the drummer for the Foo Fighters? Or Hanson? Jefferson Airplane? FUCK! Oh. Never mind.

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