Finally we turn our eyes to a stunning mystery. Supposedly there is going to be a big celebrity coming-out on May 5th. Naturally it will take place on the cover of People magazine, America’s top choice for coming out location after your mom’s car while she’s driving you to the airport and Denise’s basement. But zomgargoyles, who will it be??? Queen La? Zach Quinto? The regretful ghost of Dinah Shore? No one knows! You guys should speculate in the comments please. We hope it’s a really exciting person. We hope it’s 50 Cent. That would be amazing. Apparently the person is doing a big “coming out tour,” so we’ll have to guess, though, that’s it’s someone who’s trying to create some celebrity, not someone who already has it.
My guess is Suri Cruise—but, hey, fingers crossed for Malia Obama. Who do you think it will be?
I’m guessing.. Keanu
Tiger Woods
Christian Bale and Jake Gyllenhall will announce they are BOTH gay and then permit a photo shoot where they wear nothing but aprons and hold hands and feed each other strawberries and other cute foods.
I HOPE MAY 5TH NEVER ARRIVES SO THIS WILL BE MY DREAM FOREVERRRR.
Elizabeth Edwards. No, wait- Antonin Scalia. No….um…Bill O’Reilly? Crap. That’s not right. Wait. Oprah. It has to be Oprah.
Come on. Leave the prepubescent kids out of it. Bad form.
Hmm. It this person actually big or just “big”?
Remember that Sulu from Star Trek felt the need to publicly announce his gayitude a couple years ago. The world was SHOCKED… or lulled to sleep.
I don’t think the bar to get on People’s cover is set that high.
Rachel Ray.
Anderson Cooper finally gonna fess up?
That’ll be about as exciting as Sulu.
Gotta be Anita Bryant.
Justin Bieber
the assuleta kid from Idol with the poussy stage dada
@real_life I knew Justin Bieber was a lesbian!
Cinco de Mayo? George Lopez?!