“The Perils of Lesbianity”

This week the Mercury explores the perils of bicyclism in our annual bike issue. Next week, its the Queer Issue which means a 10,000 word feature on Glee, and a scolding editorial entitled, “Gay Men of Portland, Where are Thy Mesh Shorts?”

However, there is one dark corner of the queer world which is so mysterious, so unfathomable, we’re having a problem writing a story about it. It’s name? LESBIANITY. So far our Penthouse magazine research has yielded only confusing results. Luckily for us, we stumbled across the following educational film which fully explains this baffling and blasphemously sexy subject. (For example, I had no idea that lesbians are unable to step on consecrated grounds like churches and cemeteries. GOOD TO KNOW.)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (AND ESPECIALLY LADIES): “THE PERILS OF LESBIANITY.”