Yes, this is a “French Disco” song. Yes, the video stars the French boy band known as “Pipones.” And yet, I remain unconvinced the three guys depicted in the video are gayer than Gaylord McGayerson, the grand marshal of Gay Town’s annual gay pride parade. My reasons follow:

1) Gay men don’t drop their trousers down to their ankles while standing at a urinal.
2) Gay men don’t feign interest in women — unless they are Republicans.
3) Gay men would never lower themselves to such base, unimaginative choreography.
4) Gay men don’t dress up as American tourists — even to be funny.

And yet… gay men do write the catchiest, ear buggiest songs — and this number definitely falls under that category. YOU MAKE THE CALL!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=_3W92wZenEc%26hl%3Den%26fs%3D1

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

3 replies on “Why I’m CONVINCED These Guys Aren’t Gay”

  1. While I don’t necessarily agree with Humpy’s points, these boys are the worst dancers I’ve seen since the other night at the Silverado. So yeah, they’re probably straight (ish).

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