The HUMP! Jury is a diverse group of Seattle/Portland-based queers, breeders, kinksters, out-and-proud vanillas, and binary-squashing gender rebels. HUMP! Jury members take their jobs very, very seriously. We gather once a year in a darkened conference room around a table heaped with carbs. Films are limited to five minutes and it took us six hours to watch all of this year’s submissions. We take notes, we debate the films, we watch some again. When the final program is determined—an utterly heartbreaking process (every year we have to cut some films we really, really love)—black smoke rises out of the chimney on top of Stranger HQ and we can hear the crowds under our window chanting “Habemus HUMPam! Habemus HUMPam!” (We have a HUMP!” We have a HUMP!”)
We have a HUMP!—do we ever—but before we announce the lineup for HUMP! 2014…
OVERHEARD IN THE HUMP JURY ROOM“Wow, that is SO anatomical.”
“It’s like Avatar meets Midsummer Night’s Dream meets Naked and Afraid.”
“Ginger pubes represent—hey, straight analingus 69! But, man, depressing apartment.”
“Straight people’s apartments are so depressing.”
“Farm to table!”
“Bedazzled bras, big sunglasses, lots of lip gloss, no oral/genital contact—so that’s how lesbians have sex.”
“This is why I’m never going to eat acid ever again. This image.”
“Good luck getting that out of your hair.”
“I hate that dead-and-deflated-cow scrotum thing. Wait. That’s a clown scrotum.”
Our reactions to this year’s films will make more sense when you see the films that made it into HUMP! But you’re not gonna see the films that made it into HUMP!—Seattle and Portland’s 10th annual amateur porn festival—if you don’t get tickets! HUMP! goes down November 6th-9th & 13th-15th at On the Boards in Seattle, November 13th-16th at Cinema 21 in Portland, and November 15th at The Capitol Theater in Olympia. Twelve screenings have already sold out and tickets have only been on sale for a week. Don’t miss HUMP! Order your tickets now!
And now, after the jump, the titles of the films you’ll be seeing at HUMP! 2014…
No Artificial Sweeteners
Garden Party
Humparoke
Tarnish
I Am 12 And What Is This
A Day In The Wife
The World’s Best Hand Job
The First Time
Sunday
Tuesday
The Sound of Porn Music
Just Fucking
A Match Made In App Heaven
Rube
The Glory Hole
Fire Escape
The Caller pt. 2
Box Conquer
The Grocer
Cinderfella
Did the jury bother to select any sexy movies or did they create another slate of naked comedies?
Graham, If you recall last years sexy sexy winner, you’ll remember that it was a very sexy female in her film called “Fuck”.
The jury is good.
How do I get a Hump! T-shirt?!
Having a sexy movie win the sexy category doesn’t mean the festival wasn’t dominated by comedies, obscure kinks, or other bizarre-and-definitely-unsexy movies.