To the “yogi” at every yoga studio ever, shut the fuck up with your Ujjayi breath. Nobody wants to hear your labored Darth Vader breathing while trying to Zen out. Contrary to what you might have been told/taught/observed, you do not need to project your strained throat sounds across time and space (no really, Google it.) I’m trying to get my meditation on, but my eyes are too busy rolling into the back of my head. Do us all a favor and worry less about perfecting your Downward Dog and instead focus your attention on shutting the hell up!
Fuck Your Ujjayi Breath
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