The people of Portland vote for independent oversight of the cops. The cops say, "Nah."

The D.A. prosecutes shitty cops. The cops go on strike.

The USDOJ says the cops are out of compliance with a previous settlement. The cops say, "So? Whaddya gonna do about it?"

The city tells DOJ, "We'll get them to comply." The cops say, "Like hell you will."

The people demand equitable, effective crime prevention. The cops say, "Nope. You're mean to us."

The cops tell the city, "We ain't got no resources." The city pays the cops' $3 million bar tab.

The people cry out, "Our city's in shambles. The cops say, "It's your own fault for questioning our authoritay." And the mayor says, "I miss my little kitty."