Dear yuppy asshole at Whole Foods. It’s a fucking Sunday, I’m fucking hung over, and I’m using a fucking re-useable grocery bag because sure, I’ll be honest, it was raining and a paper bag would have melted away. And due to my current state I had no other choice but to drag my bag a few feet, whatever cocksucker. When you offered to carry my bag I had a ray of hope for you, but no! You had to push your knowledge of woven synthetic fibers on a freak ass bitch who drags bags, like myself. I never knew I was taking 2-3 years off my fucking grocery bag. Suck my tits! Thank you for enlightening my Sunday, and I hope I made an impact on yours, too, ya fat ass burrito.