Dear Portland: stop it. Just stop it. Stop it with the no-makeup, natural hair, thrift store clothes that make you look like Fantastic Mr. Fox... Stop it with the beards, the ill-fitting tight suits, and looking like a fresh-faced 3rd grade teacher from 1983.... I'm sick of feeling like I live in a Wes Anderson movie every friggin' time I walk out my front door, ok? It's time for the rest of us to step up and REBEL against this banjo-toting naturalness. Where's the art? Where's the STYLE? Where's the MAKEUP? Most of all, where's the INDIVIDUALITY? It's almost 2012, people! Stop this needless regression and let's make Portland a place with people who look like they give a damn.