I was married for 15 years and after my recent divorce, I started dating again. I went online and met a girl, we hit it off and planned to go out last Saturday night. From my younger friends it was discovered that a new trend had taken place among the single folk. That trend was to be shaved down below. I’ve never done such a thing, but wanting to jump in head first (no pun intended), I decided to give it a go. I got my electric razor and stood in the shower for a good 45 minutes, learning as I went. It seemed that the more I shaved, the more the remaining long hairs stood out. I grabbed my shaving razor to get the random few, but that took forever and I also nicked myself more than thrice. I showered, moistened and prepped myself for a night out… only to get a text an hour before with the girl canceling for some probably made up reason. I grabbed a beer to ease the rejection and then I felt the wave of itchiness rise upon me. It’s been 3 days and my nether-regions itch like a motherfucker. It’s been a horrible experience that I’ll likely never do again. I shaved my sack and you cancel?! Never again…
A Sack Sacrificed
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You shaved it??!? So last year. You really have to pull each hair out individually. (Be sure to have a bottle of bourbon handy.)
Did you shave down there for a first date? You didn’t make that clear, but if you did, you deserve the itch honey. that was mighty presumptuous of you! Why do people think it’s necessary to do something everyone else is doing? Maybe date people your own age. We don’t expect, nor like little boys.
Goddamnit! Are we supposed to be shaving our balls again?
No, you are not supposed to be doing anything. If people were jumping off bridges, would you all do that too?
So the repeated lotion applications aren’t helping?
Another one falls for it! This is like a chain letter thing. Remember those?
That’s when you text back and say, “I shaved my balls for you!”. You have an equal chance of either getting laid or being reported to the police.
I agree. This is the part where you text back; “hey I shaved my balls for you!”. You may get arrested, or you may get laid. Only time will tell. —