With this news of Bill Cosby, The Rapist, comes to light a trend that I’ve noticed since forever: women not coming forward, not pressing charges, not bringing the alleged rapist to justice. I keep reading articles about how there were “rumors floating around” that Bill Cosby was a rapist. How in the hell do rumors get started by numerous women/victims, and yet not one of them went to the police? They were obviously telling someone, just not the authorities. The same trend appears to have taken place with CBC Radio Q host, Jian Ghomeshi, who was recently accused of being violent towards women. Same thing: “there were rumors floating around about his behavior.” I just don’t understand what it will take for women to bring these animals to justice? Instead of telling people who aren’t the police, try telling the police. Rape is a disgusting crime and these animals should be fucking sued of all their possessions, publicly shamed and locked up. But, by the same token, we need to find a way to give women the strength to come forward and expose these men, without fear of retribution. I’m on their side 100%, I only wish they would have exposed these perverts earlier… so much time was wasted, all the while these men, and men like them, walked around free. Women NOT coming forward is a discussion I am not hearing… perhaps we’re not ready to have it?

20 replies on “A Discussion We Cannot Have”

  1. Your take-away from women not reporting sexual violence is…to further blame and shame women who’ve been sexually assaulted? The reason women don’t report is because rhetoric like yours is so pervasive, especially within the criminal justice and legal systems. Those systems rarely, if ever, adequately support or find justice for survivors. That’s why women don’t report. You’re asking the wrong questions. The right questions to ask are about why those systems so woefully fail survivors of gender-based violence.

  4. Yeah, this is a well documented thing. Often if you report your rapist, you get dragged through a humiliating process in court during which you get blamed for your own rape and the rapist is found not guilty, and is free to harass you (or worse) once the trial is over. Maybe if the legal system actually helped women who came forward more of them would, but quite often it’s worse than doing nothing.

  5. We cannot look to the system to attempt to convict and punish after the crime has occurred. Clearly this has not prevented or provided the change we need. We must destroy the rape culture that is pervasive in America and teach our boys that they have no will or domain over any woman anywhere at anytime.

  6. “I just don’t understand what it will take for women to bring these animals to justice?” – Possibly it is all those times women are asked what they were wearing, the time police destroyed evidence, the times women were charged for rape kits, the times rape kits were never brought in, and etc., and etc.

    A trend I have noticed is that ever since some white kid at Brown got falsely accused it always seems we questions the accuser first, even if the perp has multiple accusers, over several years… perps are innocent until proven guilty, victims just need to prove they didn’t ask for it first I guess

  7. when you say “rape happens because of women not reporting rapists to the police”

    everybody hears “rape happens because of women…”

    asshole

  8. Famous people (and in the 80s you better believe Cosby was famous as fuck) tend to have lots of money, and anyone with lots of money has a team of legal assassin pitbull lawyers. One teenage girl up against someone like Cosby, his money, his lawyers, his image as such a pure fatherly figure in Americana pop culture…. can you even imagine how intimidating that probably felt to his rape victims?

  10. I couldn’t imagine having to defend my own character as a result of prosecuting a rapist. That’s a flaw inherent in the system. The legal system needs to remove the onus of the victim in defending their own integrity. I don’t care if the woman was a drug dealer or promiscuous, they still enjoy the same right of protection under the law.

    I would hope that I could muster the strength to go through the process if I was in a woman’s shoes, if only to drag the scum out into the light and force them to defend themselves.

    Ultimately, that decision lies with the victim. I would hope that victims give some thought to at least exposing these scumbags and potentially preventing future rapes by the same person, even if they aren’t found guilty of the crime. Again, that decision rests with the victim though.

  11. > I couldn’t imagine having to defend my own character as a result of prosecuting a rapist.

    I can’t imagine you defending your character under *any* circumstance 😉

  12. Anon, I hear you. I wish women would be more vocal about it. So many perverts, and the woman is left to think she is on her own.

    The breakdown is that it is now a common part of what happens to lots and lots of women, our grandmothers, moms, sisters, daughters ,and the list is endless. It’s called rape.

    Maybe if women in Portland, Oregon start to organize their thought and actions, we can take this to the courts,
    Senators,Representatives,Governor and President.

    Life is too short to argue how we got to this point. I know there is a court system that tells people you can’t get a restraining order that works. You have to be harmed before it clicks in, just Hoping you don’t killed. That mentality is probably going to change because women are not going to take it anymore.

  13. > I can’t imagine you defending your character under *any* circumstance 😉

    You might very well need to IMAGINE that circumstance assisse. It won’t ever be necessary when lowering myself to conversing with the likes of you.

  14. I think a few of you on this Anonymous have gone overboard with arguing with each other. I bet your nice people, but it is annoying all the chat between you.

    Do you think it is entertaining to try to read comments, and your screen name keeps popping up? Do you have jobs? lives?
    RS -Assi, Belle Trolls–Grow up.

  16. Stop doing what you are doing, victim blaming and shaming. That will change how and when women come forward. Most of these women stand to gain nothing from this but humiliation, but they still tell their story. Sex offenders used to stop when they became old men, but Viagra has changed that. Better late then never on their part.

  17. If he wasn’t guilty, then why did he settle out of court? Of course, the biggest mistake that Michael Jackson ever made, was in not paying extortion to the frauds who frivolously sued him.

  18. I won’t speak on the behalf of all women, but from personal experience. I was 19 years old, working for a high profile/popular public figure car dealership in Portland. For months a manager went from saying inappropriate comments, touching my hair, shoulders, waist to finally pinning me against a copy machine, while running his hands all over me, up my skirt, etc. I made complaints to my peers and direct supervisor about the comments and touching before the copy machine incident and was told “That’s awful! You should just avoid him.” Over and over and over again.
    I told my bf the night of the copy machine incident what happened and he gave me one day to report the incident to HR or he’d come down to my work, call the guy out publicly AND call the cops. I went to HR and I was basically called a liar. I was told that it was “well known” that I’m a flirt and that I’m “a bit of a story teller” – Mr. Public Figure guy actually said, “I knew you’d be trouble when I hired you.” I was told the incident was written up but I never received a copy of anything.
    Not much time passed when the same creep started up again. I broke down at work, crying at my desk, told management that he’s at it again and they told me to just take the afternoon off to get my emotions under control.
    I broke down and called my Dad. Without hesitation he came to my work, walked into the creeps office and nearly bit his head off. Cops were called, a report was taken but I was never again contacted by the police, or my phone call returned when I asked about follow up regarding the sexual assault. The dealership moved the guy to a sister store. I was 19. The guy was 46. I’m 30 now and still get stomach aches when their fucking commercials come on.

  20. ^Haley, my husband and I share seen to much. Your very lucky to have a great father; and you are able to talk about it, and help others with your honesty and bravery. Thanks for speaking up for victims with your first hand experience.

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